What's up with this?

Lizzard,
it's not just there. people move to AZ and complain that everything is not done like where they came from.
I have a couple of times asked to see the invitation they were sent asking them to move here.

As I have mentioned before, anyone who is currently living on the mainland, Unied States of America, circa 2009, is incredibly spoiled and they don't even realize it. It takes moving to a new place for some people to realize the level of their spoilage. When you are accustomed to huge box stores like ChinaMart, dozens of Internet and TV options, round-the-clock everything, etc etc you miss all of that when it is suddenly gone. Some people even complain about missing the winters that they complained about LOL !!

BTW, for a good example of what people miss, visit the website www.peopleofwalmart.com

That's why I get a kick out of those who immediately want to change everything to make it just like home. I guess we need to be grateful the VI's aren't for everyone or this would look like Manhattan. The herd really thins out after major hurricanes, too.

Lizard:

It's simple......some people just like to complain. It gives them a "common ground" to discuss (or just talk about) things with other people.

F.I.

I think it is an epidemic of narcissism

I think sometimes people looking for a slower pace don't really understand where they are moving. I have had people ask if we get regular mail, where do we shop for food, do we have doctors, can they drive a golf cart around the island, which tells me they are really looking for their own vision of "paradise island". People looking for that will be sorely disappointed, and will very quickly start to be discontent. They may see all the negatives and none of the positives when they realize how much like "back home" we really are as far as the usual responsibilities and how much we are NOT like back home when it comes to some conveniences.

A couple of years ago someone on here, maybe Tammy(?), broke it down into stages of adjusting. First was the honeymoon stage, which is self-explanatory. I don't remember what she called the other two stages, but honeymoon was basically followed by reality check and then either acceptance or discontent.

I forget who the original poster was that posted about the stages of adjusting first but Betty posted it at one time. I would like to take credit but it wasn't me.

What do I miss about the states. Family. Everything else here on STX works for me and my little family. 🙂

Someone famous...L Francis Herreshoff maybe... once said,

"Don't work so hard to bring with you the things you are trying to leave behind."

And my favorite, "Wherever you go, there you are" meaning lots try to escape their life but they're bringing their biggest problem with them, namely themselves.

Good quotes! I am moving there because I need to slow down. Of course I cannot say how I will like it there, but I imagine I will. America is too fast, too demanding and too needy. I don't want to run around all the time and never enjoy anything. I move there in about 45 days and I do not know what to expect exactly- just something better than here.

Another way to look at it is we have none of the conveniences of the states and all of the problems. There is, however, the beach!!

Yes the beach, the boating, fishing diving, snorkeling, golf, tennis, triathalons, all 12 months a year.

A lot of people's satisfaction depends on what " quality of life means" to them.

Being here less than a week - I'm completely in the "honeymoon stage" so nothing really to complain about. I don't think the red tape here has been much worse than California was... but it was absurd there too. Prices here... similar to CA - some higher, some lower (gas and insurance is less here),
But I do agree some people just LOVE to complain... there's a bond in it!

I had Ideas of Golf-carts because they are used in MOST of the islands or areas of the states where you don't need to get on the freeways all the time! I still think a smart-car would be perfect for the island, but I don't live in the hills.

Don't forget the views. Here you can afford to live here where you'd have one that would cost millions anywhere else on the mainland & probably wouldn't be as good.

I really wish we had more posted stories from everyone who plans to move here forever-and-ever and then moves away after a short period. I would guess the top reasons are

- living here is nothing like vacationing here
- moving to paradise doesn't change who you are the way you hoped it would
- isolation from stateside family/friends
- job didn't work out / couldn't afford to stay

What else did I miss?

Something I see here is that a lot of married couples break up. I don't know why but it seems like an epidemic. I would imagine that is a huge reason why people leave the island.

Here's what I found that was previously posted. It is so true!! I think reading this a long time ago saved my sanity when about 6 months after moving here I slammed into phase two and was so frustrated with everything. Fortunately, I remembered this and it helped me step back from everything that I was frustrated about and laugh at my frustrations and remind myself why I live here.

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palmetto [ PM ]
Re: Q's on Adjusting for those that moved to VI
June 21, 2007 07:28AM Registered: 2 years ago
Posts: 17
Hi Neil,

My wife and I have a bit of experience living overseas and adjusting to new places and cultures. We have always found that adjusting after a move comes in sort of three stages without any definable time limits because the stages are based on the individual. If you were to draw it the adjustment period would look like a rising peak, followed by a valley, and then leveling off to a coastal plain.

More specifically, the first stage is the honeymoon period, which is characterized by an irrational love of everything (both good and bad) that your new location has to offer. For example, the beaches are unreal, the folks here sure do drive crazy but that’s ok I’ll wear my seatbelt, or my favorite – you mean you don’t have any raisin bran in stock without bugs, boy that’s great I love this place this must be one of those cultural differences I heard about before I moved.

The second stage, which can creep up unnoticed, is a complete one-eighty change from stage one and is quite easy to distinguish because you will now display a very strong disdain and hate for everything your new location has to offer. For example, what do you mean you can’t fix my electric for two weeks!!!? Or, if I have to wait five hours to pay my phone bill again today I just might go insane and start banging my head against the wall to kill the time. And the favorite, you don’t have any raisin bran in stock without bugs? I truly hate this place why on earth did I move here.

The third stage is the leveling off period where you find a balance between stages one and two. You will know you’re in the third and final stage when, driving to the store to get the now ubiquitous raisin bran a cement truck coming in the other direction tries to kill you by running you off the road and you begin to shout expletives and lose your temper but then you remember…after you stop at the store you’re going to the beach while friends that you talked to just that morning were digging out from another foot of snow and suddenly you realize that life’s not that bad after all.

Of course, the times vary greatly above depending on the individual…Keep a positive attitude and a sense of humor and you will be fine if you move.

Palmetto
[www.mytropicalescape.com]
Providing organic relief from the common cubicle.

In the case of many married couples where the male is the breadwinner while the wife takes care of the kids & the day to day stuff, the man loves it here. Meanwhile, the wife is dealing with surly grocery clerks, getting the car inspected & the other hassles of daily living including traffic getting the kids to/from school. Then the wife hates it but the man likes it because he doesn't have to do all this stuff & it gets to be a battle. She doesn't get a break & he can't figure out why she can't get with the program. I've seen that a lot.

I have also seen quite a few cases where hubby is home with the kids and wife is hugging the bar stools. Maybe that is because she is dealing with the day to day stuff.

I have noticed the women are quite friendly to the malefolk whether obviously taken or not. I've never seen such
"in your face" flirting.
What is the single male to female ratio in the islands?

More men than women.

Sometimes after we move here some of us are perceived as Lizard described but in reality things may not be as they seem.

My husband and I are obvious newbies. We look like tourists. We also have more of a grasp on what we want our day to day life to be like, probably more so than other people. Every thing we do is a conscious decision. Ever since I was diagnosed with a terminal illness we have spent a lot of time reflecting on how we want to spend the rest of our (or should I say my) life. As a result of this the way we choose to live our life, our actions and our behaviors are a direct reflection of how we seek to hang on to peace, happiness and love in our life. Sometimes it may appear to someone else that we are impatient, or "in a rush" when in reality it is really that if we sit at a restaurant for a couple hours waiting for food I will be sick so we choose instead to leave and find an alternative meal plan that won't make me sick. We aren't mad if we are not served right away, we just go find something that will work for us. No big deal to us but boy others sure seem offended by it. When others see this they assume we are impatient tourists who don't understand island time when in actuality although you can't tell I am sick by looking at me, we are just doing the best thing for us. I am used to judgements like these (even in the states) but it really is getting old, especially when people feel the need to make an outloud statement about impatient tourists.

Another example, we just backed out of a real estate purchase because of the drama of one the parties involved in the process. Long story, don't want to go into it. The amount of ridiculous unnecessary personal drama brought into what should have been a business transaction for the last 4 weeks wasn't worth it and so we backed out of it, forfeited earnest money and made other arrangements because we want to have peace in our lives during a particularly trying time. We are happy and back to laughing again but because I "don't look sick" we are perceived as impatient, "in a rush" etc, and all just because we chose to limit certain stressors in our life.

I usually don't say anything to the people who tell me that I have to be "patient" or I must not understand "island time" because so far everyone that I have encountered with that attitude towards me seems to already have their mind made up about me and it really doesn't make me want to get to know them enough to explain my personal issues. The whole thing seems to be fueling my already reclusive nature, I find I don't even want to try to go out and meet people anymore.

So maybe next time you guys are sitting in BMV, or in a check out line at Plaza or Cost U Less, or in a restaurant somewhere and some seemingly normal individual leaves before their transaction is completed maybe it isn't because she is expecting life to be fast paced like in the states.......Maybe she is just polite enough that she doesn't want to hurl on your shoes.....LOL.

FYI:
My post above was definitely not intended to be nasty, rude, or offensive. I read it after I posted trying to imagine what it would sound like to someone who doesn't know me and it sounded like I was complaining. I was just intending to inform people that some actions and behaviors of people are not always based on what you might think.

Sorry if it came across wrong....I have a tendency to be blunt but never mean to offend.

LoriSue thank you so much for waking me up!

You see I too have an incurable disease but never thought about it that way- It's called life. and it's gonna end somewhere between 0 and 40 yrs or so. Who knows when I might get hit by the proverbial "bus". I am heading down Nov 30 and will return after laying the ground work with the rest of the family and soon after decompressing need to spend some time reflecting on what I have done with the past 57 yrs of my life....