To STX - and back a...
 
Notifications
Clear all

To STX - and back again

(@Becky_R)
Posts: 713
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

I am sure I will be taken to task by some for the following, but with the recent discussions on the board regarding crime and life in the VI, I’ll take my chance. Bash me if you will, this is only personal experience…perhaps best moved to the Moving Stories page. As you may have guessed, we have returned to the mainland for a variety of reasons, mostly personal – but I hope that someone out there is listening and will consider carefully what we have to say.

We had lived in rural Arkansas for about 5 years prior to making our move to STX. Came from living in Little Rock, a medium sized city, for 40 years before that. Very familiar with small-town life, grown kids, not feeling like we really needed a lot to get by or be happy. Both sun lovers, beachcombers, baby boomers looking for a place in the sun to live, work, and retire. My husband was offered a job in a white-collar profession on STX in May 2005. We did the prerequisite PMV, got held up at gunpoint, explored the island, did the shopping, looked at houses, blah, blah, blah…and thought it was all good. The “held up at gunpoint” wasn’t so great, but we decided that was a freak occurrence and marked it up to being stupid or something…and so we made our move. We landed with all of our worldly possessions and pets in tow and rented an apartment on the east end sight unseen from a very wonderful couple who helped us adjust to our new life. The rent was pricey compared to Arkansas, but we have dogs, so whatever. We’ll trade off cruises for rent and go on, right? And we did – and we made the best out of my husband’s new 45 minute commute to the west end of the island for his work, the lack of reliable electricity or phone or internet (and my work is internet-based) , a cistern that went dry frequently and caused us to have to use well water (which was horrible)…and we began looking for a homestead. From the time we did our PMV until we actually got serious about looking, the real estate market went through the roof on STX. Bummer, but we’ll cope.

I can’t put my finger on one thing that went wrong, just a series of little things…and there’s where the jam-up started. Some were island related, some were purely personal. The first thing we noticed is that after the initial rush of visitors, we were 2500 miles from the kids and relatives, some of whom were older and were in failing health – and there was NOTHING we could do to help other than make the obligatory phone call and say we were sorry. Frustrating for two people out to save the world. No way to have the kids for Sunday lunch, missing family reunions, being unable to fulfill what we felt were our responsibilities to our families – that was the first big kick in the pants.

We are both hard working people who came to the island with plenty of resources which promptly dwindled at an amazing rate. We no longer felt we had the ability or knowledge to buy an island home – all the talk you hear about sea air chewing up your stuff? It’s true, and it takes a toll on your house, your car, and everything you own. We replaced computers, t.v.’s and small appliances and kept Kmart in business single-handedly…and we plowed through some savings. We realized that not only could we not afford to buy a house, but we would never be able to retire on our investments and Social Security at the current highly inflated cost of living on St. Croix AND continue to make regular trips to the mainland. Hmmm.

My husband was under a great deal of pressure at work…people’s personal information is needed, and amazingly, many people didn’t know their date of birth or where they lived… “Estate Ruby” is a big area. In spite of the “slow pace” of the islands, almost everyone to a fault wanted instant gratification and he felt he was working in a pressure pit and not practicing his type of medicine like he has been taught, and as he enjoys. My husband is about the most patient, low-key person you could ever meet…and his frustration level was so high it was starting to affect his health. Although he was one of three professionals at the location where he worked, the work load was unbelievable and the pay nowhere commensurate with the mainland….in fact, it was roughly $40,000 per year less than what he is currently paid. That’s a lot of money, folks. And then little by little, we noticed other things which are mentioned in other recent posts…

That gallon of milk you paid $7 for on your PMV and laughed about? It’s $7 every day; just because you have a hankering for pizza doesn’t mean you’ll find pizza crust at the grocery store. You truly have to adjust your menu if you’re on a budget…which isn’t extremely hard, just extremely different. The electric bill? Unbelievable when we got there, but our utilities were included in our rent…when we moved, we became responsible for that – and in the meantime, WAPA’s calculators went insane and energy costs quadrupled. We ran 2 fans, a computer, and a little t.v. at night and got out for about $400/mo. Oh, yeah, I used the dryer a few times a week. My bad. The flip side was that we had water again! Going out to eat on a whim quit happening – we did find places that were reasonable, but to have a nice meal is going to set you back a little change. So we learned to cook conch and use local foods - and that was fun!

It is a small island and it seems most of the islanders are related – but you aren’t…you’re the outsider and you have to hustle a little harder to be accepted, and you have to stay around for a while (and “a while” isn’t a year, trust me). You’re lost and a little bewildered for a while – it ain’t the U.S., folks – and it takes a while to build up a support system. We were fortunate enough to make friends with a number of continentals and some islanders but it wasn’t super easy – and many of the friends we made on the island came off this board. But you aren’t a local and you don’t know all of the families and the history, and where to go and not go…and it seems everyone is privvy to this info but you and it takes a while to just get the basics.

After about 10 months my husband was at the breaking point and feeling like a robot – I stood in jeopardy of losing my job, which is internet based, because the internet was flighty and not reliable…as a side note, I must say for the upcharge that WAPA instituted, their service became more and more stable until the power outages just weren’t happening all that often, but the internet was all over the board. Our finances were shot since it takes a HUGE chunk of change to move to the islands (and don’t move all your stuff, you’ll be sorry…do like people tell you, put it all in storage, and then after a year or so if you’re still happy and have a place to call home, bring it down…you’ll see after being there for a few months that your treasures really aren’t made to live the island life unless money isn’t a problem and you can have year round AC). The long weekends at the beach were wonderful, when they happened – but life interfered to a large degree – you will still have to grocery shop, clean the house, go to the cleaners, and work…gotta say, though, the view any drive we had to make was spectacular…

I can cut an area out of Arkansas roughly the same area as STX, and it has roughly the same population…can I compare crime stats? Nope. Arkansas isn’t St. Croix. There is virtually no violent crime here, and little to no petty crime. Does crime exist here? Of course….the difference being that there is pretty immediate police response to even a speeding motorcycle (another side note – when we were held up on our PMV, we had to drive to the police station…we were told it was just “too far” for the patrolman to come out to Cane Bay at 9:30 at night – excuse me, but isn’t that what you do as a patrolman? Drive?) Wherever there are humans, there will be crime…but the educational system in the islands is terrible – the employment situation is terrible – the medical system is way below par - and wandering the streets of Frederiksted seems to be the closest some folks come to working or having a hobby. Would I go to Wal Mart right now, at 4:30 a.m., in Arkansas? Without thinking twice….Would I wander the streets of STX at the same time (if anything was open)? Not a chance. All I can attribute the difference in the crime stats to in my simple mind is that education here is quality, and there are tons of employment opportunities - if you're acting like a thug, it's because you've chosen to - you CAN find a job, and one that pays a decent wage. Although the per capita income in our area is roughly $16K per year, which is very low compared to the rest of the country, the cost of living is also very low - and a work ethic is highly prized. If you're working, you don't have time to act a fool.

There are many, many wonderful people in the islands – locals and transplants alike…but take a close look at your own comfort zone before you make the big move. In addition to looking at daily island life, look at your life NOW, pre-move….what is it that you do that you will truly miss when you are not stateside anymore? It could be those are the things that will bring you back in short order….we honestly didn’t realize how involved we were with our families until we could not reach out and touch them on a moment’s notice. Try depriving yourself for one month of the things you will not be able to have if you make the move...it's startling. The family thing is what tipped the scales for us – and remember, if someone falls ill back “home”, you may or may not be able to get on the few flights out every day…and that is a truly helpless feeling. Worse yet, if YOU fall seriously ill and have to leave the island, you're looking at a bank buster unless you have air ambulance insurance...with the potential of recurrence of my husband's Guillain-Barre, the odds were lousy for getting him to Florida in the right time frame even with air ambulance - a small fact we sort of chose to ignore when we moved - but after seeing the state of medical care, it hit us between the eyes that if he had a flare up, he most likely would leave the island in a pine box. Sobering thought. The hobbies that we loved became too expensive to indulge in since getting specialty items in is pricey, if your supplier will even ship to the islands.

So after a year, we folded…my husband was approached by a large chain about working back in the same little Arkansas town – his employer on the island got wind of it and made us the offer we couldn’t refuse – and we realized that our quality of life would simply be better back where we came from. That makes us part of a large contingent who, although they love the islands, find that they just don’t belong…it simply was not a good match for what we knew and were familiar with – and I know all of the arguments, that this island living is different and you have to adapt – but these two old dogs just couldn’t learn new tricks, I suppose.

Was it the experience of a lifetime? Yes – we got to live a dream that few others can. Would we do it again? Not on a bet. I’d just take that $25,000 or so that it took to move us back and forth and have one hell of a vacation every year for the next 10 years. Seems we are Arkansans through and through – and we had to go away to find that our comfort zone was in our own back yard. I don’t think we did this “right” or “wrong”, if there is such a thing – it simply wasn’t for us.

Please don’t misunderstand me – we loved the music and the culture and many things about living on St. Croix – but search your soul and figure out just how many Jump Ups it will take for you to burn out on them - decide whether your dream is just a dream, think about the impact on your families, both immediate and extended, and for Pete’s sake don’t jump in with both feet until you are sure what you are jumping into….on the other hand, maybe you can’t BE sure until you’re really there. But keep enough money somewhere to get back to the mainland – I can’t tell you how many people we met who spent everything they had to get there – even if they wanted to leave, it simply wasn’t much of an option if they wanted to do more than leave with a suitcase. It’s not always “what you make of it”, as so many posts on this board indicate – there is a bigger picture behind why anyone stays or leaves – don’t be brutal to those who discover they need to leave for whatever reason, be it financial, familial, or just the inability to do a changeover to a new culture…we love St. Croix and it will always be our vacation spot, but we couldn’t do our entire life there. It’s as simple – and as complex – as that.

 
Posted : November 26, 2006 9:35 am
(@Island_Ed)
Posts: 372
Reputable Member
 

Excellent post Becky!

My opinion is that most who leave the VI have had similar situations and experiences. It is not a "defeat", as some would claim, to come and find it was not a good fit.

For some on this board, this will be good news. I moved myself and my family off island 10 months ago. We are enjoying the beautiful sun and warmth of Phoenix, AZ. (btw - they have not learned how to conserve water like on the islands...LOL) We would not trade the experience of living in STT, and we did learn much (such as what it really means to simplify your life). Everyone who is inclined to try living there should, but with their eyes wide open. No bulletin board can fully describe the experience as being there can.

My experience is a little different, in that I came with no fantasy that I would be escaping to paradise. We thought it would be a great experience for us as a family. It is just that the underbelly of life in the VI is worse than I imagined.

I relocated my family to the islands, found a condo to rent, started a one man mortgage business, found and built out office space, developed and closed loans and grossed over $30K... all within 90 days from hitting the airport. Sounds like the beginnings of some great success?

The problem wasn't making money, it was living there. I grew weary of the petty backstabbing in business. As Tom Bolt told me, the business community in STT is like "crabs in a bucket"... said in his best southern manner. If you try to get up, they will all pull you down. I had a silent partner in business that was well know in the community. When others in the business found out, some would not do business with ME because "they didn't want HER to make a dime more" in business. Talk about business ingnorance. It goes along with the ignorance sometimes found on this board, such as calling it criminal to share cookies with the women in the Department of Finance.

I had a friend come and visit me shortly after I arrived. He stayed late at the Green House one night and couldn't get a taxi, and had to run for his life to the fire department to keep from getting mugged. The firemen tried to throw him out but he refused to leave. Fortunately, when the police came, he humored them enough that they gave him a ride to my place instead of to jail. Even my local friends were surprised at that one. He will never be back again.

Then there are all the same issues mentioned often here regarding going about doing the mundane things in life... but without the security of getting home safely. We did not put our son into school, not even Antilles. We had friends who pulled their kids from there because of drug and alcohol problems with 'tween' age kids. Our 19 year daughter was constantly hit on by every salty dog that met her. Imagine how shocked I was when a realtor client, who was married with teenage children, called my house to ask her on a date because she "intrigued" him. Of course, I promised to slam his head in the car door next time I saw him. Or the couple that tried to talk her into exploring the underground 'swingers' group that met regularly there. Yes, there is a seedier underbelly than most experience. I could go on in ad nauseam. Maybe Daniel Jude can now understand my concern about one of his proposals.

Very soon, we weighed the pros and cons of living there, and found the islands were sorely lacking. The beautiful views, great beaches, and even the MANY wonderful people we became friends with (locals, east indians, continentals), couldn't begin to even tip the scale in favor of staying. So we chose to leave, not as being defeated, but as realizing the quality of life (or lack thereof) was not worth the price... FOR US.

We will vacation there, and stay in touch with some close friends, and even have some fond memories (they do NOT include mosquitoes and no-see-ums)... but living there is not an option. Been there, done that. We've now made room for the next "transplant". As Dominic says, it is a numbers game. Too bad the ones desperately needed there only stay for a cup of coffee, then move on.

Regards,

 
Posted : November 26, 2006 4:46 pm
 Ric
(@Ric)
Posts: 393
Reputable Member
 

Becky,
Your post is excellent. You all are one of several couples we have known who moved here and then made, what I would think to be the very difficult decision to leave. LindaJ & I know that we have been lucky. So far (3-1/2 years) our decision to move to STX has been the right one for us. I have stressed many times that island life isn't for everyone. The fewer encumberances you bring with you the more likely you will be to stay. Our kids are grown. My parents and her mother are gone. The only pets we have are each other. We have been very fortunate not to have been personally involved in any of the crime issues on the island. We have a base income that can pretty much cover our expenses (we live very cheaply). So far, it has been a good fit for us. But your experience here and the experiences of others lets me know that's not the case for everyone.

I have stated on several occasions that it worries me greatly when people come here, bring all their worldly possessions, invest their life savings in either property or a business, and then see the realities of living on an island in the middle of the Carribbean. It's not like living in the Continental U.S. In some ways, it's better. In some ways it's worse. In most ways, it's different. There have been times when I question whether or not we have made a mistake. But when I try to think of where else we would go, I can't come up with anywhere I think we would like better. So here we are. I feel sad when people come here and are disappointed by what they find. I feel sad when people come here and realize that the STX they moved to is not the STX where they vacationed. Moving here is one of those things that a lot of us think we want to do. By moving here and deciding STX is not the place for you, at least, you gave it a shot. Now you know. If you had not come, you would always wonder if you should have.

God speed to you and Russell. When you come back to visit, we'll get together, sit on the beach and have a few beers.

Ric

 
Posted : November 26, 2006 5:24 pm
(@Island_Ed)
Posts: 372
Reputable Member
 

Ric,
An excellent post also!

Before we came, we said the same thing. If we don't try it, we'll kick ourselves for not at least trying it out. That being said, I repect those that can make it there, and have no grudges against the islands or the foks there. Someone told me at the beginning of our stay that there is only those there less than a year, or over 5 years. You seem to be one of the few in between, with a good chance of making it over 5 years. Good for you! I wish you the best on STX.

 
Posted : November 26, 2006 7:14 pm
(@Becky_R)
Posts: 713
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

Ric -

We dearly miss you and Linda and many of the other folks. As the cold Arkansas winter starts to set in, I am sure we will miss you more!

I agree that starting virtually from scratch is probably the best way to go...I know the things we brought took a terrible beating - but then again, we never anticipated returning...it wasn't a vague pie-in-the-sky fantasy of living in paradise - we'd both spent quite a bit of time in the Caribbean and felt it WOULD be a good match for us and a good place to retire...but as the oft said and oft ignored adage goes, living is different from visiting. That can't be stressed heavily enough. I also think if we had picked a different point in our life to try, we MIGHT have stayed...maybe. If we had waited to recover from the Michigan State University clock cleaning for $120K for the kid's law degree (so that he could work for $45K a year prosecuting low-lifes - whatEVER!)...If we hadn't had all the dogs (not an option, let's don't go there - but folks, I will tell you, multiple big dogs and the island just don't mix terribly well)...If the families hadn't been failing...it might have worked. Maybe. But there were issues from the first week that just never improved - we were promised improvement, it just never quite materialized.

Are we happy now? Incredibly. The move settled my gypsy feet for once and for all....but our reasons were mostly personal for coming "home". Had we been offered a job in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, we'd probably stil be on island. Wehad the chance to return to exactly what we already knew and settle ourselves into a comfortable retirement - and my husband is pragmatic and level-headed and always looking to the future - he's a planner, I'm a dreamer. We laugh now and say my dream got us there, and his sensibility got us out!

Yes, the island has problems, and some serious ones....we had hoped to be a part of the change, but change will be slow and difficult to achieve. In many ways, it is just as you told us - welcome to the 1950's - and although the 50's might have been a slower paced time in history, it also was the beginning of a time of great unrest and reformation for the U.S. - and that may very well be where the islands are now. I'm no politician, historian, or soothsayer though...I don't know and have no desire to debate the point with anyone.

We will surely be back, probably in the late spring, and we will drink a lot of beer with you and Linda at the beach and get caught up on news...for now, we are where we need to be, and it's all good. Oh yeah - I got another Rottweiler, too!

And by the way - if Linda is the only pet you have, you REALLY need to get her into a good obedience class...
just a humble suggestion. 😉

 
Posted : November 26, 2006 7:29 pm
(@Island_Ed)
Posts: 372
Reputable Member
 

Becky,
I wonder what subjective reality a dog has on island... any clues from your big dogs?

 
Posted : November 30, 2006 1:59 am
(@Linda_J)
Posts: 3919
Famed Member
 

Hey!! I resent that remark!!!

We thought about you on Thanksgiving. You and Russell were gone, so were Linda and Mike. And so were the other couple Jim and Pat. Chuck, Ric and I had to recruit NEW diners.

Take care,
Linda

 
Posted : November 30, 2006 8:26 am
 jane
(@jane)
Posts: 532
Honorable Member
 

I guess the remark about the underbelly struck a chord. After 5 years, we left St Croix exactly because the ugly underbelly was so visible and present almost everywhere and at almost all times.
It seemed that one could barely escape the filth and litter. The animal cruelty and neglect was becoming a strain on my psyche and the social problems were also everpresent. We lived high on a secluded hill, but we still had to go to work, shop, and live etc.

The drug and alcohol use was out of control among my daughter's peer group and so much of the "island life" seemed to revolve around bars and drinking.
I guess the negatives just toppled the positive pile. The cost of living, power and housing etc was so steep for the quality of life there...we just could not justify St Croix's bang for its buck.

 
Posted : December 1, 2006 12:29 am
Search this website Type then hit enter to search
Close Menu