Teenagers are bored

Please be VERY careful looking for friends for your daughters on the internet.

There are some bad people out there.

i am being careful. I was just inquiring of any parents who had teenage daughters. I will be meeting them first. Thanks for the concern. I just wanted to basically know if there was a place teens got together in STX to meet. I would even be interested in starting them in a good local church (non denominational) if anyone has any suggestions.

the sports bar called Sharkeys usally has kids around that age hanging out there, play pool and watch football.

There's a soccer group called AYSO. Our neighbors have kids that belong to it and one of their daughters is around 14 or 15 yrs old. You could look into signing up your kids if they are into soccer. There's also a swim team called Dolphins out at Country Day School (one of the private schools) You could probably call the school to get some info. As far as a place kids go to meet, I'm not sure about that. Your best bet would be churches and other organizations.Sharkeys is a bar so I don't know if underage kids are allowed in, maybe during the day?

There are no laws keeping children out of bars in the USVI. Sharkeys has kids in and out all day and well into the evening.

Another thought is to check with Good Hope and Country Day to find out when they have events such as athletic competitions, dances, etc. Extra teens are generally welcome to come hang out and meet the other kids. Good Hope has finally put their events calendar on their website, so it's easy for you to see when/where they have things going on. Try www.ghsvi.org and www.stxcountryday.com

There aren't enough teenage girls on the island to please the teenage boys. I have 3 sons who are currently off-island, but the younger two (soon to be 16 and 19) were always lamenting that they wished there were a few more girls for them to meet who were not paired up with someone. Not just to date, either, but to have more new friends to hang out with.

Thanks for the information. I appreciate it. They are so bored. I've been to Sharkey's and I think it's a little more harsh than I'm ready for them to experience. 😉 I even get hit on in there.
I will go to the country day website and see what's going on. Thanks so much! They need some teenage interaction! 😉
Thanks ALL!~

It is difficult for older teens to find fun and games that are positive and not destructive. The big problem here is drugs and alcohol. It is hard to control and it can lead to early sex and stupid decisions.

Like any place, including large cities and "safe" suburbs in the states, the islands can offer too many distractions.

We (my wife and I) have talked to adolescent kids on STX who are enrolled in great "private" schools, public high schools, and some who are being "homeschooled". They all say they are "bored". That might be better than being "overstimulated" as many stateside teens apparently have to deal with.

Hanging out in "bars" is not the answer. Sports,clubs, academics and "at home" activities is the way to make them healthy adults.

I KNOW....

It's tough to be the adult in charge...

Dear Alexandra: Just a quickie but there IS a Virgin Islands law about underage children being in bars. An underage child isn't allowed in any drinking establishment (including restaurant/bars) after 9PM unless accompanied by an adult.

Shelly, have you also thought of enrolling them in sailing/scuba classes/activities? I know on STT there are all sorts of programmes available for youth in these areas and there surely must be similar on STX? Both activities are a natural here and I find it hard to believe that nobody even mentioned it! Isn't there a STX Yacht Club? I'm being facetious because there is of course. Give them a call and find out what they offer. Who knows but they might turn out to be world class sailors eventually - and, if not, will have enormous exposure to others of their age just by learning the basics. Cheers!

I'm acutally jnrhome's wife Melissa. My husband is moving to the island in just a few days...the 31st to be exact. Me and my two kids are following him down to STX in June. My oldest daughter is 14, going to be 15 in August. I was worried about her not having any friends her age to hang out with when we get there. This just might be the answer. If you want, you can contact me at melissalsutton@yahoo.com.

Melissa

Thanks everyone for your ideas! I am enrolling one of the twins in a discovery dive scuba course. The other one won't even think about it. I have one introvert and one extroverted twin. I actually moved them away from the states because of the over stimulation and selfishness they were receiving from other teens. (Well, that and my husband had the opportunity to work at Hovensa Refinery.)
They were forgetting about the goals in thier lives and one of them was getting too wrapped up "extracurricular" activities. Melissa, I will email you. I think that might be a good idea!

thanks again.

Shelly

The yacht club on STX has a summer sailing program for kids. It isn't a year around class for new sailors, as I understand it.

STTResident... I have never seen any kids or teens rousted from restaurants or bars after 9 PM when they are there in a group and with no adults in sight. I suppose sometimes one of the teens is 18 and is expected to act as the escort for those underage. While a law may exist, it is typically ignored here and certainly no signs to that effect are posted as they would be in mainland bars.

shelley... maybe your introverted twin will come out of her shell a bit as time goes on. If her sister has a good time scuba diving (and she should!), she might be willing to give it a try. If she wants a private one-on-one, I am a PADI Instructor and could take her out at her own pace some time, starting in the pool until she is comfortable with experiencing the open water.

Some of the Hovensa employees who come to the island on contracts get the added employee benefit of having Hovensa (or their sub-contracting employer) cover the private school tuition for their children at either Country Day or Good Hope. It's a bummer that your husband's position did not include that amazing perq. Even so, your daughters would be welcome at any of the social and athletic activities at the various schools and should be able to make some friends over time.

Well, I probably am in the minority of barkeeps on STT and even where STX is concerned about checking IDs.

I don't get underage youth in my place and wasn't aware of the law until I got two underage local youths in my place. It's a long story which I won't bore anybody with right now but suffice it to say that I found two youngsters with whom I eventually related. I would love to find them a mentor or a Big Brother.

Bar owners who fail to tell their staff to "card" kids are very much responsible for anything that happens to an underage kid who was illegally served, leaves drunk and then trashes anything in his path because he's jusr plain silly drunk - and what about school tomorrow!

I don't see many kids getting served alcohol in the bars and restaurants. It does happen, but more often they are drinking sodas while they hang out. A lot of the kids go to Sharkeys on STX because they can play pool and think they're being very cool and adult. Most of the kids have plenty of alcohol available at home if they really want to go that route. They also have 18 year old friends who could buy a case of beer for $20 instead of paying $3 for each beer in a bar. I suspect these kids get in more trouble if they are roaming the streets around town than if they are indoors playing pool.

With the small-town environment in the islands, it isn't uncommon for some of the adults at a place to be acquainted with some of the teens cruising through. They may not have their own parents with them, but they know someone's eye is on them who is aware of what they are up to and who they are with. Most of the misbehavior occurs when they are somewhere that adults aren't watching and possibly able to intercede.

I do think that teens in the islands are given a lot more freedom than in many places on the mainland. There is still the ready availability of ways to get into trouble here, including drug use. When my sons were living here full time they did not get as into the social interaction with their classmates as I had expected. When I asked them why, they said it was because they had no interest in hanging out with a group of potheads. They then regaled me with stories of the rampant drug experimentation that was happening amongst their peers. It wasn't ALL of the kids. But it was enough of the core group of the "in crowd" to cause some kids to back away rather than participate in the group activities and outings that were likely to include some of the kids using drugs.

Teens here have the same problem that many mainland kids do: Teens watch adult behavior and pattern their lives on that. Adults spend some time at home and also visit friends homes for cocktail parties or attend other adult venues for interaction with peers. Where can teens go to hang out evenings/weekends/vacations with other teens? They do spend some time at home and at the homes of other teens. Sometimes they also want other options, as do adults. For adults, there are bars and clubs. Teens in most places don't have those options, but in the islands teens are not barred from entering the same establishments as the adults. Most towns and cities don't build teen centers for lack of funds. Without a liquor license, private owners can't make enough $$ to keep such a place open for long. Some places have arcades, but they need quite a lot of business to stay afloat. Athletic clubs and gyms can be good for all ages when they are available and afforable.

There are quite a few wholesome activities and events arranged for teens through the schools here. From athletics to dramatic productions to musical events/band & choir concerts to "coffee house" chats to dances to swimming and movie nights to beach clean-ups to assorted volunteering, etc. Outside of school there are many other options, from sailing to snorkeling to swimming to scuba to hiking to more volunteering, to learning steel pan drums and walking on stilts to part-time jobs to household chores... to homework, reading, watching tv, playing video games, etc. And yet it still doesn't seem to be enough for some of the teens.

With so much available to do, being "bored" is more a matter of attitude than necessity. New arrivals do need to be introduced to what is available and should become less bored over time as they find activities that entice them to take part. It is important for teens to have some interaction with other teens... but I do encourage you to ask questions about what they're up to. As parents we do need to be on the lookout for possible drug use and other negative factors. With newly arrived teens trying so hard to make some new friends and "fit in", there is a great potential for pressure from the new friends to send them in a wrong direction they've avoided up until now.

Alexandra,
Thank you so much for the lengthy input. I need all of the information I can get. Saturday, we went to the music store and bought one twin a classical guitar (the extroverted one) She has had 6 years of classical and flamenco guitar training. The time without her peers from home has proven to be a very insightful process for her. They are both forced to find things to do and actually be "bored" and be comfortable in thier own skin. It's proving to be a real character builder for them. This is also giving them time to heal from years of emotional and physical abuse from thier father (in the states). The time to reflect has already proven very effective at healing some scars.
I have looked into possibly taking them to a basketball game at one of the private schools, but as I was in the states, I am a very guarding and invasive parent. I'm FULL of questions and always have been. I may dive too deep into thier lives, but I think it has made them the people they are today. I'm not ready to throw them back into a group of teens who pressure them to "party" like the adults do. (like old friends from the states).
I only have them a few more years before they go off on thier own and I think this time with them will help build a foundation for their future, so a little "boredom" shouldn't hurt a thing. If I could just get the quiet twin to go out and try stuff it sure would help. She is very guarded and fearful of just about everything due to the abuse from her dad.
Thanks everyone for the advice.

Hi
I was actually reading through the boards looking for apartment advertisements and noticed this topic. I'm a 18 year old male resident of STT and I guess my view on the boredom thing is this. I think it all depends on the kid. In my opinion, I love it here...~! I grew up on boats near the main land and doing that sort of thing, so as you can imagine that fits me well here. I have only been living in STT for about 2 months and my dad has lived here close to 2 years. I havn't had any trouble finding or meeting friends, mostly from just running into people or even meeting people that live in the usvi on the internet.
Also, there are certain things about the islands that are just a fact of life imo. I am not the kind've person who likes to be around drugs, I tested the waters with that in high school and was lucky enough to realize early on that I hated it. I consider myself a social drinker as do most of my friends on STT. Your kids making their own choice with alcohol is kind've something that happens in life either way. I guess what I'm saying is that not everyone does drugs here but most are going to drink. It's a matter of whether not they are responsible enough to need to be drinking. One of the other good things about the islands that your daughters will quickly realize is that most teenagers here are very open minded. Nobody really cares if you drink or do drugs, thats your own choice. If your not a drinker, there not going to turn you down as a friend because of it.
Aside from all that....The USVI is one of the best places to spend your teenage years imo. It takes a very open minded person to realize the chance you have been given, but once you do realize it, you realize that you live in paradise =)

FYI: I would also suggest just spending time with your daughters in the process of meeting people. I know from experience that sometimes you feel that parents are forcing you to go into a unknown crowd (which teens hate!). I would suggest you and your daughters spending an sunday afternoon at Sapphire Beach on STT. There is live music, food, etc right on the beach and alot of STT teens hang there on sundays.

Hi Shelly. I got your message forwarded to me when I posted a question about teens living in STX. My husband and I are considering a move with a 13 yr old and 15 yr old boy. One part of us feels it would be a great experience for them. Another part is scared silly. How have you liked it so far?? I hear horror stories about crime and then other things that the crime is not what some make it out to be. It's so hard to know the truth! Do you feel comfortable and safe there? Would you feel safe with your girls going out on their own?? Thanks so much for any insight!!

Hey Parents...

Whkile not a teen or a parent of a teen, there's lone activity available on STX that I used to love in high school (even though I was terribly bad at it, which is what made me laugh so much) that hasn't yet been mentioned: bowling.

STX has a 10 pin bowling center on island. Even though I can already sense a few hip teens rolling their eyes at the thought of engaging in such a geek sport, it can be a really fun way to get to know new people, and enourage team work and friendly competition.

Perhaps you could arrange to have all the families with teen kids meet there one night for a get together. If there's enough interest, you might even be able to get a league started. if there isn't one already.

This discussion made me realize that STX is also missing another recreational activity that's popular with families and kids of all ages -- miniature golf. A tropical island with three full golf courses seems like an ideal place to also offer miniature golf, doesn't it? Perhaps one of the folks planning to move here can direct their entrepreneurial skills toward bringing putt-putt to the people of St. Croix. 🙂

--HC
--HC

I also will be there in the summer with a teenager. We have two daughters age 15 and 5. We will have to keep in touch! I was worried about her getting bored too!

Angel,
my teenagers have found lots to do now. They found other teens thier age from Country Day. Carambola Beach is the big hangout for teens on Sundays. Will yours be in private school?

It doesnt sound like I will be able to afford private school actually. I will either home school or send her to public? I have not heard one good thing about public high school however... Where is Carambola Beach? Which part of the Island is a decent part for families? I read on the Crime stats that there are "drug" areas? is there a particular area to stay away from on Stx?

Do NOT send her to public school. I'm homeschooling my twins. I can give you the name and an email for the homeschool I'm using. They supply the cirriculum and do all of the recordkeeping and transcripts. They also give accredited diplomas upon graduation.
Carambola is a beautiful beach that is very safe. It's northwest.
Email me and I can tell you more about different locations I've checked out for housing.

shelly@suncrafthomes.com

"Good places" and "bad places" are kind of blended together on the island, so it's hard to tell you of any particular area to stay away from. You could have a nice neighborhood adjacent to a housing project.

Hello and Welcdome, Angel....

DL summed up the answer to your good and bad areas pretty succinctly. There is one area -- Grove Place -- that wasn't recommended as a particulalry nice area, even by Native Son, who grew up there. This came up in a recent discussion called Estate Grove Place, and the thread went on to include a discussion about local neighborhoods vs. mostly transplanted continental neighborhoods -- and how there are nice areas in both. You may want to go back through the last few pages to look for that thread, and do a search on good areas/neighborhoods to see other conversations on this subject. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure there's another good one on this topic that was started with a question from Shelley -- as I recall, the title included "Cotton Valley".

Generally, though, even reading these discussions cannot substitute for a personal visit to see how you feel about the various neighborhoods. It's a good idea to not make a judgment about an area based on just a drive-by from a main road because, as DL said, there may be some less desirable homes just past the newer/better maintained/larger ones you see near the entrance, and vice versa.

That's the case where we live -- driving down Centerline Road, it looks like Sion Farm and Sion Hills is made up of pretty small, bunker style homes on small, flat lots. However, if you just drive a few blocks into the Estate you'll see that homes farther back are larger, nicely maintained, and on lots that average 1/3 of an acre or more.

Have you scheduled a pre-move visit yet? It's the best investment you can make in preparation for the big changes that come when you move here.

It's nice to have you join us here... 🙂

--HC

Thank you for the welcome!!! I'm so happy to have found a place to talk to REAL LIVE PEOPLE on the Island!!!

We are traveling out for a month or two in the summer. That way, we can feel what it will be like to live there vs. visit. Ya know? Also if we find sufficient employment, schools ect. we will stay, if not, we will go back home and keep planning. Hey if nothing else it will be an awesome summer vacation/adventure for the kids!

Thanks again!