STT help and advice--moving

"Thirty-seven is not exactly over the hill, but you are running out of good college years."

Hmmm. I would very much like to know when the good college years run out and at what age I'm perceived to be taking a seat that should go to someone younger or too old to learn new things or too old to be worth teaching.

Hi Juanita,
I did not put everything in my post, as not to bore everyone…lol. I met with the university (IU) and they were fantastic. Although I will lose my full ride, I will still be able to take classes on line and have financial help. Their distance-learning program is more intense than I had expected and they have been great in lining up a path to keep my education in full gear.

As for the job, I had decided that I wanted to go back to the service industry—I love meeting new people—so I decided to go back to Indy and work for the Mcd’s company (owners) I had worked with for many years. The more my STT dream developed, the more I had to ask myself, “what is it that you really want to do,” and the answer is that I want to get to STT and start enjoying the energy.
I wish I could find a better adjective than “electric”, but that is just the best way I can describe it.
There is no question in my mind that moving back to Indy with friends, family, free school, and a good paying job is the smart way to go. HOWEVER, going to STT is not an inverse; it is just a very different path. I have lived a safe and relatively comfortable life, and while I have no regrets, it is time to mix things up and start pursuing both goals AND passion.

Here is the best way I can describe it. Several years ago I visited an old friend in Phoenix, AZ. It was 104 F that day and hot as HE**! I kept asking him WHY would you want to live in hells cauldron with scorpions and rattlers? He spoke with a purpose of “It’s where I want to be.” I never understood that, but I do now. Sorry if that doesn’t make any better sense, but it just “feels like a chance of a lifetime.” When you live in a place like STT that has thousands of different people visiting every week, you are bound to meet and learn life experiences from people. I wish I could explain it better, but If only ½ of my expectations come true, I will be one happy camper!
As for financially, there is no doubt that I will have to hit the ground running and looking for a job. I am not a proud man in terms of jobs, I will work anywhere the pays a living wage for a hard days work. If I am lucky enough to find something in the hospitality/foodservice/public eye category, I will be fine. It may sound corny, but I just enjoy being around people…heck even the mean ones can be a joy if you learn how to take them. I learned through reading the board, that until I am actually on the Island, not many folks are going to be offering jobs…having a job waiting would be ideal, but it’s just not going to happen.
The “family closet shopping spree” is rather simple. While I would love the extra $’s from selling my household goods, I know there are several members of my family who could really use some of the things I have (my niece needs furniture for her dorm this fall, I have an alcoholic brother that is 6 months sober and could use some things since his divorce, etc.). My parents always taught us children that giving from the heart—especially to family—will always pay back dividends... and I truly believe that.
I hope that when I get to the island I will get to meet you and say hi, you sound like a nice person. Hope that clears at least a few things up. And for the record, I am a little scared about this move, but it’s a good kind of scared.

Post script, If I have sounded sarcastic in anyway, I truly apologize. Seems there are folks on this board that like to throw “fuel on a fire”, and that’s not me. I truly do hope I get to shake your hand someday and say hello.
(Insert deity…lol) you, and best wishes,
Norm

Look you're a single guy moving here and if it doesnt work out you only hurt yourself so I'm all for you doing what you want to do, but you seem to believe that the usvi is some kind of dream world because it has nice beaches. What the heck does "and the answer is that I want to get to STT and start enjoying the energy. " mean? There's anti-energy in the islands, where getting anything done takes 3x as long. Shouldn't your dream be to go to college and not just live somewhere. Anyone can move anywhere its not hard(it just requires a plane ticket), whereas getting your degree involves alot of hard work and dedication. I'm just saying people often come to the islands thinking its paradise (their dream) and there life will somehow be magically better here and going from your posts it seems like you have a bit of that disease. You are who you are wherever you are. All that being said good luck.

Hello Betty,
Yikes! A little harsh there it seems. The beaches? I do not recall mentioning the beaches at all—I am sure you will correct me if I wrong. A “dream world”? Hmm, again, I must reread my posts, as I don’t recall saying that. I cannot explain the “energy” comment any better than I already have. As for anti-energy,…there is good and bad everywhere. I guess I just do not understand why some individuals here make STT, or moving anywhere for that matter, to be such a negative thing. I thought I explained the school situation, but I should clarify, or might I suggest you reread. I can distance learn a block from the school, or 1000’s of miles away….makes no difference.
Maybe the “disease” (a rather tacky way of putting it), that I exude has something to do with being excited to start a new chapter in life.
Words are just that, words. I can only hope mine—as well as my tone—are not nearly as trite as some on this site.
I would love (need) all the advice folks can offer, but some of the disparaging comments and crystal ball inferences made by a select few here are intriguing.
I wish you the best Betty, and please feel free to give any constructive advise you may have to offer…but I guess construction vs. prose is truly a frame if mind.
Best regards,
Norm

Norm -

All due respect - and this is truly from the heart - I don't think anyone is trying to bash your hopes or NOT give constructive criticism - but for the most part the regulars on this board are current or past residents of the USVI or those who have close ties. We've all felt the "electric" at one time or another (until we met up with WAPA, lol!) That's one reason many of us tout the PMV - to find the job, to find the living quarters, to figure out where to go and how to live once you arrive. Too many people arrive with the dream and no plan after their feet hit the ground, and that's where they go sideways after a while. It's like starting all over again professionally in many ways, unless you are transferring with a large company and just moving your position to another locale. In your case, you could be making a step backwards with regard to employment. Should you return stateside, it's difficult to explain the dream to prospective employers and why you are back after having worked as a bartender for a year rather than continuing to work for a major chain and pursue an education. At 37, they want to see you progressing and not taking what is perceived as an extended vacation. Looking far into the future, I think you can see where this has the potential to backfire. Not that it will, but the potential is there. You are still young but at a truly pivotal point in your life with regard to your future.

You've explained yourself really more than you have to - and parts of your explanation truly hit home. I wish you only the best and hope you will continue to post for months as you discover things you never thought of or things you thought would be easy that are hard and vice versa. Unfortunately, a number of people who do make the move quit posting and we never really know why they are gone - maybe they returned stateside, maybe they found their niche and have a mango in their mouth - but people who stay for an extended amount of time and continue to post are a valuable resource. Just please be aware that you are one of many with a dream, and you may get to meet a LOT of new people in your 2 or 3 jobs you're working after you get to STT, which is enough to de-electrify anyone. And you're going to do school on top of that? Wow....now I remember why pre-40 were my best years!

All that being said, I know the dream - many of us do. I hope it is everything you hoped for and more. I honestly cannot say I regret the time on-island. It was a dream for us and we got to live it, but in the end found that family ties were stronger than any dream. As you are single, you are much more the master of your own fate than many. Good luck and keep us posted - when are you planning on plugging in to STT?

Norm you didn't have to say beaches but why else are you moving to a small island in the Caribbean? Its not for the job opportunities or for our college. I'm giving you the advice I wish someone had given me before I moved here. If you don't want it don't read it. Most of my comments went over your head in meaning so I'm getting the feeling you've never really spent time here so I'll be alittle more blunt about it. I'm not going to tell you how wonderful the beaches or weather is because thats the obvious.

I never had a dream to live here and I confess I think that using the word "dream" to say you want to move somewhere just seems to me like a way to rationalize somewhere. We've lived all over the us and this was just a new opportunity for us. I moved here before the message board was around and on the pmv didn't encounter any of the major problems that would have made me say absolutely not. Now my husband is a federal agent and my best friend is a prosecutor for the attorney general's office between them I truly have a good picture of how incredibly corrupt the local justice system is here. You will have to protect yourself. So if the local justice system is corrupt what do the think the local govt is like? Its completely horrible. Everyone keeps pinning there hopes on the new gov, but I'm sorry one man can't do it alone. On top of that you will be an outsider as someone coming from the states and while the transplants will accept you right away (usually but not always) the locals will not. You will have to prove yourself and even then some will never like you, yes racism definitely exists here. Next being a single guy here sucks (that being the general opinion of my guy friends). They're always asking me to hook them up with single girls.....of which I know none, because there aren't alot here that are over 23. So if all of this doesn't scare you off and you feel like its in your ability to handle then good luck.

Good morning Thunderstorm,

Sounds like you have worked out a fairly good compromise, to get your education and pursue your dream. Good for you.

Don't worry too much about finding work on STT. There are always jobs for people willing to work, and it sounds like you are very flexible. The McD's on STT could sure use some good "energy", but you'll make lots more money working at a traditional restaurant. There's always server and bartender positions open and manager positions too.

I live on STX, so it's unlikely we will actually meet, but keep us posted when you get here, and where you're working. Maybe when I'm on STT for a day or so, I'll drop by for a "Big Mac".

I think you are probably doing the right thing for you. And if not, nothing is set in stone, right? I truly wish you all the best of luck.

Regards,
Juanita

I would think twice about leaving your cats unless you think they would be going to a better home than you currently provide. Although renting is tough with DOGS, I have not found it to be so problematice with cats.
I just hate the idea of you leaving cats that have bonded with you and may not appreciate the change.
Even Mr. Reagan. 😉

Side note. Maybe you can figure out why the McD's on STT are so horrible. The food tastes so bad we threw it away. We tried breakfast and it was better, but still horrible. We are not the only ones. We tried the Wendy's which tasted the same as stateside and very good in fact. Ate there too much for lunch. We don't even like fast food that often, but on island we tried it all and sometimes we just didn't have time to run around for groceries and cook and get everything done so Wendy's was fast and easy. Anyway, we were disappointed with McD's, but maybe it was a management problem or like many businesses on island, it had to do with shipping the supplies and food. Okay, enough bitchin'. Maybe you don't want to even check it out.

Teresa

WOW!!!! Someone sounds very bitter. I've been here for only five months and have made many friends, both local and transplants.

Call me names all you want jay it does not change the facts and certainly doesn't make you a better person. I been here much longer then you (5 years) and much shorter then alot of my friends. You are not going to be accepted by and large after 5 months. People still don't know if you're really going to stay and stick it out. Your friends have to be your family here as a transplant because you will (sooner or later) need people you can really depend on and call up if something goes wrong and know they will be there for you. Most of us do not have any extended family here.

I didn't call anyone names. Just said that you sounded bitter. The fact that I have no family, means that I need to look outward and find friends. The fact that I have no trouble here making friends isn't a claim that I am better than anyone. I can't help it if you have trouble making friends, seems to me thats an issue you have to deal with yourself. But to say someone can't be accepted because they are not from here is ridiculous. I find that I have been accepted quite well here and am enjoying my new life......Just some thoughts, no hard feelings:)

Jay,

"I didn't call anyone names. Just said that you sounded bitter."

That is calling someone a name.

" can't help it if you have trouble making friends, seems to me thats an issue you have to deal with yourself."

When did I say that?? Can help but think you just want to be insulting...I guess some small people need a way to fell big. Either that or you have a comprehension problem.

And I never said a transplant couldn't be accepted here, I said it takes time which innumerable amount of people on this board have said the same thing. People want to know you're going to stay before they invest in you.

Betty,

No offense what so ever but you do really seem to hate it here by reading your posts. You have been here 5 years. I just couldn't imagine living somewhere I hated that long unless there was a reason I couldn't leave. Jane didn't like it here and is very honest about it and her reasons for not liking it. Becky R, I think liked it here but circumstances being what they were, it just wasn't the right time for her. Teresa has been very vocal about her experiences here. All 3 have been very informative and given great advice on their experiences.Ladies I don't mean to speak for you. In any case, they all left the island. Just my observations. Betty, I don't know you at all but your posts indicate that you hate it here and that everyone else should as well. Other people expressing that they enjoy life here irritates you. I don't have a problem with hearing the bad and the ugly. That is your experience. Some people have different experiences. I myself have experienced the good, bad, but no ugly yet. Again. no offense intended. Just my opinion. Have a good night.

Tam

Here here.

You are assuming things that you want to Tammy. I could assume be previous post that since you are already talking about selling a house you bought fairly recently that you hate it here and are ready to go back. But thats not true is it? Don't assume you will usually be wrong.

I've said it before and will say it again. I'm telling newcomers about very serious problems that many are not aware of when they vacation here or do a pmv. I wish someone had told me. The pluses of living in the usvi are pretty obvious to the most addled minded person, the drawbacks are not all nearly as obvious, especially someone caught up in the dream stage of living here.

You assume I'm negative and hate it here because I have a different view of this place then you and can see the bad as well as the good. Like I said the good doesn't need to be pointed out. A pretty beach is not going to help someone moving here with kids who will have to shell out 10k a year to get them a decent education.

This is very much not a place for everyone. More go back stateside then stay. I have stated the reasons I have seen so many go and here it again and again from people who are new to the island but already have fallen out of love with it or can no longer afford it here, etc etc...

"Other people expressing that they enjoy life here irritates you. I don't have a problem with hearing the bad and the ugly. That is your experience" I'm truly sorry but I find that comment a little inane. For one thing you have no idea what my life or experience is like. I spoke to conditions on the island not my life. You assume again. This is a relocation board where people ask for advice. Of coarse people relocating need to hear about both what is the problem with that???

Assume all you want but it just makes a fool of you. You have just jumped on jay's mean spirited bandwagon...congratulations

Please lets not fight! There are much more important things in the world for us to worry about.

PARIS IS IN JAIL, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

How can the world go on?

Betty,
So does that mean you do like it there?

OUCH!! I am mortally wounded. I'm just going to take my meanspirited assuming self off to lick my wounds. Does anyone else have a bandwagon I can jump on. Oh wait, after I heal I can jump on Bettys. Let me finish my St. Croix Sucks sign and march around the airport to warn all the unsuspecting newbies. Have a good day.

Tammy -

Totally out of character for you...after 5 years on STX, I think Betty is entitled to her opinion whether anyone agrees or not. You gotta admit, there ARE reality checks after you move. Why is it anything that isn't smiley faces is perceived as negative? Sometimes it's not negative, it's reality. With the attrition rate being what it is, it seems a number of people don't/won't/can't hear that the islands are anything short of the paradise they've imagined in their minds. And there ARE some people who can't leave. We were very fortunate - we were tied to a 5 year contract but were able to transfer within the company due to a critical shortage stateside, coincidentally in the area we had just left (thank God for favors since we had HUGE problems goin on in our family stateside). Had the company not needed us where we are now, we would have been either on STX or in Peoria. I am not saying Betty wants to leave, I wouldn't even presume to know - but she's told us her husband is a federal agent. You don't just tell the feds that you REALLY have a hankering to be in Galveston and just have the doors open for you and move within 30 days. They may want to go to Galveston and Uncle Sam may send them to Boston. Oh, well, you go where you're told under those circumstances. Perhaps her husband is staying because he's been told where to stay - perhaps they are staying for him to further his career - perhaps they are adjusted to island life but see the critical areas that you just simply do not catch on a PMV or extended vacation or from reading an internet forum.

Again, we all have to play in the sandbox together....let us not wee-wee in it.

Hi Becky,

I don't think I was out of character. I was nice and polite. I didn't make any personal attacks. I made an observation based on Bettys numerous postings about STX. It is none of my business why she lives here whether she likes it on not. She certainly can post anything she wants about STX. I just don't think she is a nice person. If anyone disagrees with anything she says she attacks in a very mean personal way. I probably should have just said that and not made any observations on why she lives here. In any case, I made my point. I am sure the beatings will begin soon. Ok, I am going to go play in a another sandbox for a while. Peace

What does Betty do? Why doesn't she help to expose these corrupt politicians she knows so much about? So many times I have read "Now my husband is a federal agent and my best friend is a prosecutor for the attorney general's office between them I truly have a good picture of how incredibly corrupt the local justice system is here." Seems she should be able to help rid the island of these corrupt people but instead just sits here and offers commentary.
Please, get up and do something positive.

RL

Tammy you were nice and polite? I thank god I only know about you and don't have to deal with you in real life. You need to check the dictionary on those words.

Ronnie I really have NO IDEA what you are mad about. Just open the newpaper if you want to find corrupt politicans, Bert Bryan was just elected again. Yes my husband is a federal agent and by working here he endangers his life and my own. I am not joking about that. I have no idea what your asking me to do, I am not a federal agent. Are you suggesting I give up information on cases my husband is working on??? I work and volunteer here on island, what are you suggesting??? Pretty easy to judge someone isnt it? Your attitude really makes me sick.

There is that bitterness again.

I want you to go home and ask your husband what he thinks about your telling everyone out here that he is an agent and apparently talks business with you, which you allude to on the message board. Don't quite think it is the proper thing to do. If you have knowledge of any corruption, there is the White Collar Crime unit that should be notified.
My attitude is pretty good compared to yours.

RL