Single life for 43 yo guy...

Girls generally want boys. Since you are a man, you might have better luck if you search for a woman.

Unless Im really reading it wrong... maybe you should read my post again... Single guy 43 interested in females 28-40. read it again.

Robert, I think the reference was made to your use of the term "girls" rather than "women".

OK, well, whatever... Men/Women Guy/Girl Thanks for the clarification

Robert,

I'm sure everyone else understood your question clearly.

You may get lucky. However you'll most likely find that women are much more in demand down here than men.

Wokmen/girls is an important distinction here. Because eligible women outnumber men here, it may not be realistic to assume that "girls", who can have there choice of any man, will be interested in a 43 year old with a 14 year old son. On the other hand, having a kid in school is a great way to meet other parents, some of which are bound to be single moms.

Have you been here for a visit? If not, you should do so and try to hang out in some places where locals congregate.

I personally think it would be difficult to move here alone with a child, man or woman.

It's been my experience over the last 8 years that the white men outnumber the white women something like 7 to one. As Linda said, with a child, you may meet other eligible single parents if you mingle in that seen. But, if you mean the "single life" like up in the States, this is the wrong place for that. The odds are good for ladies....but the goods are odd. And how's the other one go? You never lose your girlfriend in St. Thomas...you just lose your turn! Do those two sayings help to give you an idea of how rough the single life is here? There is a large portion of the people from the States that are here for only a short time, as well, which means a high turnover, which doesn't really help. You really have to be here for a long time to be considered "local". After 8 years here, I am still regarded by the 'true' locals (those bahn heah) as a transplant.

I really appreciate the comments-- thanks. I'm planning a visit rt now... I guess it's not the quantity as long as you can find "one" good one. 🙂

Thanks again

How did "scene" come out as "seen" in my post?!? Ogh! Forgive me!

Actually, I find Robert's question intriguing. Reading the boards I have noticed that many of the relocators come with families or are young singles (20-somethings). Few relocators seem to be around 40 and single (women anyway). Though as Linda J noted Robert can always meet single women with children (how many are there anyway?) because he has a child. But what of the 40-something with no child? Dating is not an issue generally raised on these boards and while making friends is great, I would suspect that loneliness may be part of why some people leave.

My unscientific research on the topic: I see ads on dating websites from men in/on? STT. Are these men realistic or delusional about finding romance?

Marty noted the 7 to 1 white male to female issue. Is this the same for Blacks or other groups?

My personal opinion is that it would be very hard to be middle aged, white, and recently moved from the continent, and live permanently on STX.

We have temp workers from Hovensa and they always look like a lost ball in high weeds, of course, they are only here temporarily.

Living alone on an island with residents who don't know you and figure you'll only be here for a few weeks or months is difficult. Few people want to invest time in you -- why bother, you'll be gone soon. And even the activities of daily living can beat you down. A partner shares the load,both actually (grocery shopping, other errands, etc) and emotionally.

Now that we've been here for almost 3 years we have friends and a support system. But Ric and I disagree on what we'd do if one of us was out of the picture. He says he'd stay, me, I'd be here part of the year, but I'd go back to my family in Kentucky for the majority of the year.

One major pitfall is alcohol. It is way too easy to start spending your evenings in the neighborhood beach bar. It is a way to meet other people, but beware of the Crucian confusions and the Corona!! Hi to Annie, our favorite bartender!!

Bottom line, coming here alone is even more tricky than coming with a partner and requires that much more thought and planning and a PRE-MOVE VISIT.

Linda, climbing down from the soapbox.

To add my two cents to the subject of coming here as a "middle-aged white" person, I moved here as exactly that at the age of 39, divorced with no children. Over 20 years later I could write a book about living here single but suffice it to say that although living here has been a roller coaster at times I wouldn't change it for the world and the wonderful people I've met and continued to meet more than make up for the negatives.

If you come here with an overriding urge to meet that one special person then you're likely to be disappointed. But if you come here with the desire of and openness to meeting an incredible diversity of people of different ages and backgrounds from all over the world, you can enjoy a life experience unlike any other. And within that diversity, who knows but that you may well meet that one person - it ain't over 'til you dead. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!