reverse discrimination?

I am white, female, etc and never noticed it personally. I know of others who had and talked about it incessantly, which leads me to believe it was more a matter of attitude than anything.

I think you are taking the right approach in thinking positively and being perserverant, and that will go a long way. How you treat people, how you speak to them, and the degree to which you are willing to go to fit in go a long way. I don't mean to change your entire persona....what I mean is, if you are willing to "do as the Romans do" so to speak, you will be ok.

I was a teacher when I lived there (and will go back as a nurse-midwife), so I came in contact with literally everything and everyone. What I learned is that A)native Virgin Islanders as well as other West Indians are very proper for the most part. Dress for the weather, but be dressed. B) Be polite. "Hi" is not a proper greeting. Address the time of day, as in "Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night (which I always thought sounded odd, because to me, that is something you say before bedtime...but it seems to apply to whenever it is dark there). C) Smile. And mean it. D)Ask questions; Virgin Islanders are proud of who they are.

I feel like I had a great working relationship with not only my co-workers (who were from a little bit of everywhere) as well as my students' families, who were also a mixed bag in terms of where they were from.

I am sure that no matter what you do, there will always be some a$$hole that will treat you bad no matter how hard you try, but they are so in the minority that they are not even worth worrying about. BUT, as I said, don't focus on them. You will find more gracious people than you will complete jerks.

I am sorry for your friend. It sounds like she has had a rough time of it, but part of me can't help but wonder if she has the problematic "them-versus-us" mentality that stands in her way. You can see that a mile away, and maybe it's her own negativity that's being projected back at her.

that's sort of what I figured. I didn't want to seem rude about the acquaintance, but maybe her attitude is a little off. i've been a minority in my neighborhood in NYC (harlem) so i'm not unaccustomed to feeling like the only white person around, although i know the customs and cultures in STT are very different than here. thanks for the tips-- very helpful. good manners go a long way i've found

A year is a very short time to be on St. Thomas. You can't expect to make good money in so little time. You need to get your foot in the door somewhere, work like crazy, impress your employer, network, meet other possible employers, and let things snowball. In time, you acquire new skills and make more money, or you go into business for yourself.

Initially, you economize. You pack your lunch every day. You drive as little as possible. You find work on the side on the weekends for which you're paid under the table. Look around you. There is a lot of work going undone here because employers can't find reliable help to do it. It's a constant problem. If you're pressed for money, you spend time on the weekends going out and finding such work. If you're at the beach sipping cocktails, you're spending, not earning. You work 60 or 70 hours a week if you have to. If you've found a field that you love, it's not really work at all. It's fun! And you get paid.

If you truly love the islands, your entertainment costs can be practically zero. You have the beach and mountains. It's all free.

Nearly everyone I've met here is very nice. You must slow down to their pace, smile, chit chat, and show an interest in them. You do this during working hours. Everything is slow motion here, including moving up the employment ladder. I see too many continental transplants who aren't really living here. They are still up north psychologically. They speed around on the roads and are in a hurry to get through lines. Some of them will move back north in frustration.

Look, there is no such thing as a "crappy part-time job." Every job is an opportunity to learn and to move on to something better. I think your acquaintence and her husband should open their eyes and realize how blessed they are to be living in this beautiful place. Otherwise, they'll be back on the mainland soon and in a few years will realize how much they had here and how much they've lost.

My husband and I live in Tortola, which is a little different than STT. However, we have never felt more discriminated against in our entire life. We are very polite, say good morning to everyone, etc... Yet, we are still treated terrible. I am afraid to say that the one thing we will remember from our job rotation in the Caribbean is how bad we were treated. Just last night a local pushed our cart to the side at the grocery store and put his item on the counter. Now, we had about 15 items and he had one. If he had asked, we would have had no problem letting him go in front of us. We do not want to create problems, so we didn't say anything. However the cashier saw it and didn't say anything to the man. This happens about every at One Mart. The bank (First Bank) will not allow us to go in the fast deposit line, even when we tell them we just need to make a deposit they tell us to get into the regular line. My husband will sometimes wait 45 minutes to deposit a check when there is no line for the fast deposit. You can watch locals come in and make a deposit and leave. We will get passed and yelled at for driving too slow on the way to work (by locals).

I know everyone says it is your attitude, but we are not rude people. We are polite to everyone. We try to ask questions and get to know people, but it doesn't seem to help. I think sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, they see your color and instantly don't like you.

Hey Former Ohio Guy --- you are very wise and knowledgeable about island life
I am a 47 yo Gay (single and not political- and not fabulousand acknowledge I am a minority ) male planning on a move to STX in mid 2005 I have friends on STX and have spent time with them on STX (solitude area) I will first spend an extended period of time this winter on the island - with eyes and hears meant to re-locate I too am a former ohioan -- cleveland -- got my case of island fever by living on Put in Bay for 2 yrs in the 1970's I am currently residing in Alexandria VA and sick of and tired of Post 9-11 Wash DC serious boring congested entitled people that think they are important After 25 yrs of maturing here I am ready to go seeking further objectivity re; employment Homophobia healthcare insurance I am a Burned out Social Worker but am very capable in other areas of food service to elderly -- Ideally would like cooking gardening and snorkeling in a job description would like to hear your opinions !

MDO, I am really sorry you have had such a hard time in Tortola. Tortola, however, is very different from the USVIs, and I think that would make the difference. May I ask if you are American? I would think that that had more to do with how you are treated moreso than with being white. Not to say that US Virgin Islanders aren't proud of who they are, but BVI'ers don't particularly want the American intrusion and influence in their culture that somehow the USVIslanders have found a way to embrace.

I really don't know what to tell you other than that I am sorry. AS for the bank and the grocery store, I would have been a little more assertive there. There's no harm in asking why someone did that crap to you, and maybe it would knock them off their guard a little bit.

I'm not saying I have never met a rude person in St. Thomas, I most certainly have. But it nothing to do with them being black, or blue, or yellow. It had to do with lack of manners, and unfortunately, I can find just as many white people who are rude and obnoxious in similar ways.

MDO,

I have no doubt that you have experienced discrimination in Tortola. I also suspect that the color of your skin has contributed to that discrimination. However the reason behind that discrimination isn't because you're white, but because you're an outsider. It's a small town mentality in the islands. Outsiders, regardless of their nationality or race, are viewed with wariness and yes, even distrust and contempt at times. This is a treatment that is not uncommon in any close-knit small-town community where there is a high influx of transients, or short-term residents if you will. The fact that you are white, and a stranger to most Tortolians, identifies you as an outsider. If you were black your status as an outsider might not be immediately recognized, but rest assured, the minute you opened your mouth to speak would give you away; and your treatment as an outsider would be the same.

Only time, your willingness to adapt to Tortolian life, and a friendly attitude to those that live on Tortola will change the treatment you receive. On the other hand, you mention that you are on a job rotation. Depending on the length of that rotation, you may never really endear yourselves to the locals because after all, you'll be no different that the many transients who've come before you and never invested the time and effort to become part of a close community.

BTW, if you know Valerie Sims and run into her, tell her I say "Hello". If you don't know her, it might be worth your while to make her acquaintance. Both her and her husband are white and have lived on Tortola for a number of years. I'm sure both of them will have some wisdom to impart about living in the B.V.I.

Richard N. Kurpiers

Yes, we are American.

We haven't given up we do still try to take part in local activities.

We are going to move to STT. We are hoping it will be better.

thanks for all the input. in the meantime, i've got 1 interview lined up already, so that's exciting! i move tomorrow. wish me luck!

Good luck!!!! You'll do great!!!

I have an interview September 9th....I can't freaking wait, either!

I love my island and I adore living here. I have lived on St John for 3 years now and my business takes me to St Thomas on a regular basis. I am female, white and in my early thirties. My attitude has changed completely since I moved here - it had to. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I can lose my cool with the ignorance of the people around me but that is not attributed to the colour of their skin. I find myself, more often than not, laughing about things that happen to me here, that would most definitely never happen in the "real world". Yes, I have had a dollar bus stop and say "don't take white" and my jaw did hit the floor - I have had people not take any interest in me until I had been here for more than a year. My advice to anyone would be to persevere - don't burn your bridges, these are small islands with big memories - and if you are really struggling with enjoying yourself here, then not everyone is cut out for island life. Don't be sad - paradise is a personal thing for each individual.

Alicia wrote:

Yes, I have had a
> dollar bus stop and say "don't take white" and my jaw did hit
> the floor -

Unbelievable. If that happens again, take his number, you can report this to the Taxi Commision. If you don't want to, I will, email me the info!
Ronnie

MDO,

What you say about Tortola shocked me. Still, based on the other threads, it now makes sense. I am very sorry about your experiences. I agree with ExResident. Be more assertive. It certainly couldn't hurt. Threaten to use another bank if they say no to the express line. They're fools if they let you go elsewhere. If you haven't already, try to meet some white transplants to lean on a little.

searchingbill,

I lived in Ohio City for a year and a half and then in Bedford for the same length of time. Put in Bay is beautiful. I also lived in D.C. and have a friend in Alexandria. Yes, I've read about the increasing checkpoints in downtown D.C. and it sounds awful. I loved my time there, but I'm glad I'm gone. I know nothing about cooking and snorkeling, but I'm academically trained in horticulture. There are jobs in landscaping, estate gardening (gardening at a private mansion), and from time to time at nurseries and garden centers. You could look into these possibilities during your winter stay.

what an interesting thread...

Those of us who spend time in the usvi are very aware of this issue...

You must know that the contributors to this "excellent" web site are "black, white, yellow. orange and tan and maybe green".... or other

We do not know when we are given excellent advice if it is a ...black or. white, .......person who gave that advice. IS that great? I think so...

That is the joy of being a part of this site. When there are "get to gethers" on STT or STX people are surprised by the race of @@ or @@.. What fun....No one cares...;

You and I know that individuals are often guilty of discrimination....but when we know "PEOPLE " it usually doesn"t make any difference....

Richard,

You said: "but rest assured, the minute you opened your mouth to speak would give you away; and your treatment as an outsider would be the same."

That is definitely the truth. Prior to meeting and marrying my now-husband, I dated a British man that lived in Tortola, but was a UK transplant. (He was white). Going into shops or restaurants, I would not be treated that nicely at first if it was a BVI'er that came to my service. The MINUTE he spoke, they recognized him as someone that belonged, and treated him nicely, when in fact, he was just as foreign as me. But, to each his own. It was a retreat for me to go over there (not as crowded), so I let it roll off my back.

I hate to hear of people having a bad time of it, but please don't let it boil down to race. There are assholes of every color, just as there are gems.

Whenever I get around to visiting Tortola, I'm going to speak with a fake British accent. I used to watch a lot of British comedies, and I can do it fairly well.

former ohio guy... good call i was thinking the same exact thing! LOL, i plan on doing some island hopping when i move down to STT, we're gonna try to make it over to the BVI's im a big Monte Python fan... i might be able to pull it off! LOL

Good luck...they can pick that out a mile away, too. I have Irish and British grandparents, and while I thought I could fake their accents pretty well, it didn't work. Besides, the white Tortolians that I have known have a slightly different accent than garden variety British English. Can't put my finger on exactly what is different, but it is. My old boyfriend, who was British, somehow managed to acclimate and start sounding like them, even though he had only lived there for 6 months before we started dating. (We dated for two years). But, it's worth a try!

Even my Southern American English wasn't met with TOO much contempt. A little standoffish at first, but they were polite. Just be yourself....that will go a lot farther than an accent that's not real.