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Here's just a little ditty to wake you up and start you on your way this morning - I just returned from a week in the states. Bear in mind we have only been living here (STX) a little over 4 months, so you can take this with a grain of salt...but if you are considering moving to the islands, please heed. I would also like to preface this by saying I went back to the homeland of central Arkansas - not New York City, not Houston...a relatively small city in mainstream America in Arkansas.
I was overwhelmed the entire time I was there. The vast quantities of "things" was amazing. Went into Barnes and Noble and felt my knees go totally weak (I'm a book junkie outta control). Cheap gas at 1.99. Grocery stores with fruits and vegetables I actually recognized and knew what to do with. Movie theaters everywhere. Prices so low I wanted to cry, and I didn't even step foot in a Wal Mart. Newspapers at your doorstep. Central heat and air! Dishwashers! Bathtubs galore, and no real worry of running out of water! Restaurants with every food imaginable, delivered to your door or eaten in a great environment at a price that doesn't tip the budget scales for the month. Recycling! Mail slipped through the door slot! What seemed to be instant police and fire response to a minor car wreck! Roads without potholes and washout. Flip side - Malls packed with people (okay, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, it IS Christmas), major traffic, concrete everywhere, road rage, people having something close to what we in the south call a "spell" because their favorite CD or movie couldn't be located...but it occurred to me that Americans are the most blessed of people and don't even realize the bounty they take for granted daily. Those considering a move from the States need to recognize that we as mainlanders are spoiled rotten for the most part, and if any of the things I have mentioned above are truly important to you, then you need to look hard and fast at your dream of moving to the islands (or at least to STX, can't speak for the others). I wouldn't change things for the world and don't regret our choice for a moment, but it is truly a sobering experience to realize the things you took for granted that are now just a fond memory. The cost of living here is just higher...if you love your conveniences, consider just saving a couple of months of what you would spend extra for groceries here and visiting the islands every year.
Read with some interest Linda J's post on what's new around the Sunshine Mall on STX with all of the street development, traffic lights, etc. Read the replies with a lot of interest....if this thread ever gets started I'll throw in my 2 cents....question of the morning is - does anyone really KNOW what they are doing out there? Rumors abound, but is there anyone with a fact or two to spread to the masses? Sears would make sense, since they are now combined with Kmart, but just because it makes sense doesn't mean that's what it is. Although the selection and variety in the states appealed to my greedier, needier self, I also recognized that the downside to stateside living is what we ran from - therefore, I'd hate to see it come to the islands, but that's another thread altogether.
My main point is this - evaluate what is important in your life and what you "think" will be easy enough to live without...and then cut that list in half, because the newspaper at your doorstep doesn't seem like a big deal until you have to drive 5 miles for it every morning. This IS NOT the U.S. as we knew it, get over that notion...just because it says "U.S." V.I. doesn't mean there's just a whole lot of anything to do with the U.S. here. You may not notice the scope of the differences for a few months, which is why people advocate the PMV for more than 3 days. Wisdom in motion. At this point, for folks considering a move, I would recommend taking a 2 month leave of absence from your current job and trying life out on the island of your choice - and preferably during the "winter" when the water sports aren't quite as plentiful because of a few degrees of difference in the ocean temp (I think too many people think they are going to be in the ocean all day, every day...sorry, but life intrudes)...and live your life as a local. This is a lovely place and I don't want to be anywhere else - but if creature comforts are your thing, think again. As the message board announces, life anywhere involves consideration of jobs, housing, transportation...all of the things you think you can conquer with a snap of the fingers in your warm, fuzzy dream of the islands...and just a few of the things that make life a little more challenging here. You WILL most likely adapt and will chuckle at what you needed before and what you need now - everything you "need" can be bought or brought here....for a price. It becomes a matter of whether you are willing to pay the price or make a few modifications. Unless, of course, you are a trust fund baby or have buckets of money, then just throw this post right on out the door and come on down!
Be realistic in your goals and aspirations, (and reality takes on a whole new form here) and you will survive AND become contented. You learn, you learn, you learn...and I know we aren't through learning yet. Still, I thought I would share my experience with you all - it was surely an eye-opener for me. And don't overstuff that extra suitcase with stuff on your way back - if it is checked by TSA (as is everything these days), it will erupt in their face and you will have them contacting you to re-pack your suitcase since they can't get it all back in there. I know this to be fact.
Posted : December 13, 2005 9:49 am
What a sobering post - thanks for offering this up 🙂 I imagine it is probably very easy to fall into the “grass is greener” mentality without actually considering the full ramifications of what the place is like. I’d love to see an estimate of the USVI attrition rate – people who relocate only to move back a couple of months later for the very reasons you describe.
As you alluded to in your post, a need for material things is anathema to island living. Having come from another island, albeit not a tropical one, I can personally attest to the fact that you might not have all the conveniences you want at your doorstep, and the ones you have take some logistics or they come at a price. But on the flip side, the trade offs are worth it, even if one has to endure a temporary situation that’s less than desirable to get to their desired result. Living on an island, any island, takes a great deal of patience, ingenuity, and collegiality.
And as my mother always said, you live through pretty much anything as long as you can see the end of it.
Posted : December 13, 2005 2:52 pm
Really great post! I have to say at this point, I would have seriously wanted to stay in Arkansas instead of coming back here. That's right, I said it. I've had a hard time adjusting!. After all of my bitching about the city (New York), I find myself missing it still after four months. I also arrived in August.
One thing I am not complaining about is the opportunity to get out of the cold winter weather. It is strange to think it is coming up on Christmas, yet it seems like July. The air is nice at night, and I love the vegetation here- flambouyant tress, hibiscus, firecracker bushes- all so pretty. Being able to see at least one hummingbird a day, if not a dozen, is just breathtaking.
I live in St. Thomas, and find the notion of the slower-paced island lifestyle more complex than imagined. True, if you need something done that involves the local government, and don't know anyone, expect a molasses approach to your situation. But, if you are driving up a steep hill, someone will be on your rear like they are rushing to the emergency room. And when you are standing in line at KMart, seemingly everyone is as impatient as you, the newly arrived. Be prepared for defensive driving and quick reflexes as you exit your buggy out of cost-u-less, or else you'll be on that line a while, too! Slow-paced lifestyle? Hmmrph!
Really, there are two things that I am having trouble with. I have a couple of crafty-type lil' businesses that I am continuing to work on here. The real probelm with that side of things is having things shipped here. It does come at a price. Usually not too much of a wait, but it adds to the cost of doing business. It adds up, and up, and it really bugs me! Shipping things from here has been excellent- things get to the mainland in 2-3 days tops when I have used priority. Better service than in Brooklyn for sure. Really, I cannot say enough good things about the downtown post office staff. The clerks at the window and well as the letter carriers are incredibly nice and efficient. Just wonderful.
The housing situation here is a doozy. There is really not a whole lot available here in STT, at least where we are looking (Northside/ west of town/Frenchman's Bay). And I mean it's hard for everyone, no matter how long you've been here or how many people you know. I have a friend who spent at least 4 weeks looking for a place, not in season, who has been on island 5 years. She finally managed to get a great apartment, but it takes time. As for me, we've found ourselves in a miserable housing arrangement, but really, that's life. There was no avoiding it, but it's truly terrible. I think this is at the root at my homesickness. We're hoping to find out tomorrow if a potential apartment will be available at the end of the month, so I am keeping my fingers crossed! It does help to tell everyone you're looking- there is a real sense of people wanting to help you if you're new here.
As was mentioned by Becky R and others, things are enormously expensive- more so than I think they should be. And it's not like money has been raining down for us to pay for all this, either. Dining out for those on a budget is tough. Way overpriced, and not such great quality, but that's coming from a snotty, picky eater, I admit. I wish there was a good, or any, Indian restaurant. If there is one, please advise!
After all that whining, do I regret it? NO WAY! This is really teaching me so much about myself that never occured to me before. I am becoming much more patient, and more adventurous. This is only the third place I've lived in my life- grew up in Nashville, lived in NY for years after that. To have the opportunity to live in a remote place was so foreign that I had to try it. And of course it helps that I knew a few people here already and had a job when I got here. BUT...I like lots of options. And I like not having to work all the time like I do here. Yes, I am one of those poor souls that doesn't get to hang out on the beach all the time, 'cause of work. I like efficiency. And low prices everyday! And I am most certainly NOT talking about wal-mart.
Does this mean I'll move soon? No, at least not for a little while.
And probably not to back to New York, either. Another thing this has taught me is that I want to be closer to my family in lovely Tennessee. I would never have dreamed of moving back there, but I am realizing that it may have just enough of what this city girl is looking for.
And that's the truth, my .02, etc! Did I have a PMV, you ask? Uh, no ma'am/sir. Really, if you do come down for a PMV, make it a good 2-3 weeks at the very, very least. Or have multiple visits. Like someone wrote recently, try to do 1-2 months here before you commit to the idea. A PMV of just a week or so isn't enought time to notice the things you'll be griping about later, in my opinion.
Okay, thanks for reading! I feel better now.
Posted : December 15, 2005 1:28 am
