Okay, here's my introduction!

Welcome! And I'd like to put in a plug for STT. I'm very happy here 🙂

Really, there are no issues for gay people here as long as you aren't "in your face". STT is smaller and more populated. STX is larger and more rural. St John is incredible. You really can't make a bad choice but you two should plan a visit to narrow it down. Employment is generally found through networking or being in the right place at the right time. Good luck, the Vi is a wonderful place to live.

Thanks Bombi, we are discrete, but I still like to show some sort of affection to my partner of 10+ years. Chicago is a very liberal place and has never given us any problems. We don't frequent gay bars or clubs and would rather go somewhere to relax with our neighbors and locals. My partner was in the military for 8 years so that has shaped a lot of his demeanor. If you were to see us out and about you'd know we're a couple though.

STT is still a viable option, and I love the idea of having STJ right across the sound. All Islands are fair game for now... can't wait for the pre move trips to start so we can pick one.

On paper, we’re leaning towards St. Croix. One reason that if we decide to stay we’d want to build our own house and it seems that it would be better on our pocketbook to build there (or we’d buy existing if we find something that has everything we’re looking for).

Avoid building here. It is a royal pain and often takes twice as much time and money as you estimated. I think the average person will be much happier by buying an existing place.

I agree with the others. Gay couples don't face too many issues here. Be aware, however, that many of the locals hold strong religious beliefs. A gay male is referred to as an "anti-man" and I've heard some pretty strong statements from Crucians. Hopefully we're not returning to the days of stoning. Perhaps a little discretion would be wise.

I am attempting the same, and waiting for the house to sell. We fell in love with STJ but have decided on STX for several reasons. Many of these hold true for STT, but I'm just not personally a fan of STT. Too crowded and busy for me.

Access to STX is quite easy. It is an short flight out of Atlanta or Miami (and back home in an emergency) and not as many people at the airport at the same time as STT.

There aren't many tourists on STX -- one cruise ship a week as opposed to upwards of 5 a day on STT in season.

Golf

Access to amenities (K-mart, Walgreens, grocery stores).

Cheapest gas, groceries and rents of the three. I've heard 30% cheaper is the number but I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

The downside - no pretty islands to look at in the distance and a flight involved in getting to STT or STJ or anywhere for that matter.

We have also decided to rent rather than buy. You may want to revisit the idea when you get into the costs of insurance and housing. You can rent and not have the worries involved with hurricane season. Of course, if the perfect place comes along, who knows... 🙂

I don't think being gay will be an issue on STX. I've seen many gay couples, and friends who visited said they were quite comfortable everywhere.

In the meantime, I will be on island for 9 weeks this winter and I'm counting the days! Good Luck! Let's get these houses sold and get to Lim'n!!!

I don't think you will find any more problems here in St. Croix than you would in Chicago.

Some folks are a bit put off by shows of public affection, whether straight or gay.

Where I lived for the past 7 years - in post-Soviet space - especially in villages or small towns, if you see a couple holding hands, they had better be headed to the church to get married! (Traditions die hard.)

BTW, does anyone know the VI law on same-sex marriage?

VI Code, title 16 Chapter II § 31. Nature of marriage

Marriage is hereby declared to be a civil contract which may be entered into between a male and a female in accordance with law.

http://www.michie.com/virginislands/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=main-h.htm&cp=vicode

Thanks everyone for your responses. Here is something that I found that is interesting when researching:

Associated Press,

July 22, 2004

1
Community leaders talk about legalizing same-sex marriage as way of boosting tourism in U.S. Virgin Islands

by Mat Probasco, Associated Press & Charlotte Amalie, U.S. Virgin Islands (AP)
Community and business leaders are discussing legalizing same-sex marriage as a way of boosting tourism in St. Croix, but the U.S. Virgin Islands government is not likely to approve such a measure if it were proposed.

Same-sex marriage has the potential to attract thousands of visitors, offsetting a tourism downturn since the Sept. 11 attacks and the 2002 pullout of cruise ships that left because of low customer demand and rising crime on the island, community leaders said Wednesday at a meeting of the St. Croix Chamber of Commerce.

"Imagine what would happen here if we could tap into an almost untouched market, a market with huge expendable income, a market seeking a place to go to get married," said Shaun Pennington, publisher of the Virgin Islands Source online newspaper.
Islanders should cast aside social and religious prejudices and embrace the gay market out of economic necessity, Pennington said.

"Weddings in the Virgin Islands are a major business," said Jim Hoffman, a spokesman for the St. Croix Business Guild, a group of about 12 businesses trying to promote the island as the "Gay Virgin."
Several hotels and charter boat companies in St. Croix offer commitment ceremonies – non-legally binding weddings – and cater to largely homosexual clientele.

"If same-sex marriages were legal it would certainly be a boost to the economy," said Simone Palmer, who owns Sandcastle On The Beach hotel with her partner Sheryl Smith.

The hotel, gay-owned since its founding in the 1960s, performs several commitment ceremonies each year, Palmer said.
Senate President David Jones, who grew up in St. Croix, laughed at the idea when reached by telephone, saying any push for legalized same-sex marriages is part of a fad.

"The people are very tolerant and accepting, but as a matter of policy, that's another issue," Jones said. "There's no anti-gay laws. But specifically marketing St. Croix as a gay destination I don't know if we're ready for that."
The U.S. state of Massachusetts, the Netherlands, Belgium and Canada's three most populous provinces are among the only places in the world where gays can marry.

Interesting article. The last constitutional convention showed no tolerance towards same sex marriage what so ever. I believe that they specifically wrote that marriage was between a man and a woman with some other specific anti same sex language.

From the draft document,

Section 18 Marriage
Marriage is the legal union between man and woman.

On the surface the VI appears to be a very conservative and religious society but when behind closed doors or the lights go out....................

That is what most all states say unless it has been legalized. The good thing is it does not specifically ban same-sex marriage. It did include language protecting sexual orientation from discrimination.

But enough about the gay marriage debate... lets talk about us moving somewhere warm :@) It's a beautiful day in Chicago today, after a 2 week streak of cold weather... it's much appreciated.

On the surface the VI appears to be a very conservative and religious society but when behind closed doors or the lights go out....................

That may very well be true. The culture here, to a very large degree, is grounded in fundamental Christian beliefs. God runs many agencies of the VI government. God is also very active in the police department. More accurately, an individual's interpretation of "God's will" often trumps policies and procedures established by the agencies. An office here will write a citation if he doesn't approve of what you are doing regardless of whether a statute or law has been violated. On more than one occasion, I have heard police officers quoting scripture as they wrote out tickets.

The culture here, to a very large degree, is grounded in fundamental Christian beliefs. God runs many agencies of the VI government. God is also very active in the police department. More accurately, an individual's interpretation of "God's will" often trumps policies and procedures established by the agencies. An office here will write a citation if he doesn't approve of what you are doing regardless of whether a statute or law has been violated. On more than one occasion, I have heard police officers quoting scripture as they wrote out tickets.

Amen! 😀

I have a gay colleague here who has been on the island for a few years. He tells me it's difficult as a single gay man to meet potential dates. He is also concerned about the word "getting out" that he is gay for fear of parents' reactions (he is a teacher). I feel sorry for him.

However, I live next to a gay male couple who moved here from San Fran and don't seem to experience any difficulty.

Many, many of the local here are ultra-conservative.

Coming here unattached is difficult if you're straight, but I think more so if you are gay.

Never buy and certainly never build before living in a place for at least 6 months. Chicago is a great place and has problems like any other place but I must say if one of your top 3 reasons for leaving Chicago is because of crime than you should not come to the Virgin Islands, also food prices are outrageously high, electricity is very high and the medical care is poor at best. But the beaches are nice and the weather is great most of the time

PDAs will not go over at all well. Very OUTWARDLY moral and self righteous on St Croix. My friend was told to cover herself when she finished her snorkel tour and was getting off the boat in a bikini top to go into town, and she looks like a model. You will find gay friendly places on St Croix, though, like Pollys at the Pier Cafe..(2 guy partners and their dog... And 'fab fun food'...I may be wrong, tho, don't know them) , and SandCastles at the Beach Hotel and Restaurant. The single gay guys I knew/know here found it hard to meet ppl and were not happy, so it's good you're already with someone. There is a small community, not counting 'undercovah brothas'.

So what are your work backgrounds? You mentioned your educations.

Of the three islands St Thomas tends to be more metropolitan. There are jobs here that don't exist on the other two islands. Banking, Investment, The main university campus etc. Frankly if work were no issue I would live on St John, and money as it's the most expensive. If I were retiring and trying to live on a fixed income then St Croix would be a candidate, if you need a job that doesn't involve selling drinks, teeshirts or trinkets, although you can do all of these on St Thomas as well, then St Thomas is your best option. Ultimately you will need to spend some time here to figure it out.

As for building or buying a house I wouldn't do either for at least a year. Get comfortable with the island, the neighborhoods and travel around some. It would be very easy to make an expensive mistake in housing. Housing is a strange paradox here. Prices are way higher than they should be, there is actually no justification for the cost of construction or some of the prices that are on existing homes. They ran up when everything was screaming along in the economy and there hasn't been a proper adjustment down. Also maintenance, insurance etc is much more expensive than stateside. I bought my first investment property stateside when I was 23 and hadn't paid rent since then prior to moving here. I also owned and ran a construction company in the states. My wife and I have been on St Thomas for almost three years and we are still renting. I can not justify the cost of purchase, the cost of insurance and the constant maintenance that goes on here. We also considered buying a condo but the maintenance fees in a lot of cases are close to what we pay in rent. Just some food for thought. Good luck.
Jay

St. Croix has more in the way of blue collar jobs because of Hovensa. I believe the campus at UVI is comparable to that on STT.

Thanks for the input so far. To clarify, we would defiantly rent first before we buy or build anything. If we end up loving the islands and wanting to make them home then we would move to secure some real estate.

My background is in supply chain, logistics, and analytics. My partner was in the Marine Corps and has worked for the government.

All three islands are still fair game, until our PTMs. Coming from the city STT sounds more comparable, but we may want something more rual with more acreage, then STX may be the way to go. Both have great things to offer, we just have to see which calls our name.

Like I said before we are still in a holding pattern until our house here sells (having am open house today).

Many of you have brought up that people are conservative on the islands. We encouter conservative people everywhere you go. It's not a good reason to avoid a place. There will always be those who are bigots and those who are understanding anyplace in this world.

On STX at least, wearing uncovered beach attire in town or stores will get you stared at and maybe chastised.

misbehaven, no walgreens here. dont want you to realise that when you get here.
as for gay people. it really is not a problem. we like people for how they treat us and others, just like with anybody. there are a few gay hotels on stx also. i would not care if you were to show some affection in public ( hand holding a light peck on the cheek or lips or a hug ) i really dont like to see anyone do more than that. i guess i am a prude.
if you are nice people, you should be treated fine. but you might, as another poster said, be called anti-man.
careers.vi and vidol are job sites where you can look at and post your resume online. there is also a job serch area on this board too.
most things you will need that can not be found here can be shipped-lots of threads about free or cheap shipping on here.

I know a gay couple who used to live in the VI, and they had no difficulty with acceptance at all. (They moved for career reasons.)

i would not care if you were to show some affection in public ( hand holding a light peck on the cheek or lips or a hug ) i really dont like to see anyone do more than that. i guess i am a prude.

I think that's about the most I'd want to see from a straight couple, too! 😀

Roadrunner - which island were they on?