Need some insight....Please!

I note that before I drafted this response, there were 14 views yet noone had responded.

I suspect that at least for some of the people it may be because their reaction is like my initial reaction, which is to ask,

"What do you need us for? It seems you already know the answer."

But you came here for a reason so you must need some validation, or suggestions about what to do or say, or support for breaking up from him, or just some discussion or...?

Before I respond, I want to ensure that at least my response would address your needs with the question.

FYI--I am trying to figure out the West Indian bath thing but I suspect it is over my head like the Cha-Cha thing. No need to detail it here--I prefer to remain clueless. 🙂

Onika -- It's a racist comment. I heard reference to a "Mexican bath" years ago. Its just adapted to infer ethnic group of choice is dirty.

So he's a racist.... So... ? Lots of people are racist. Lots. Some choose to vocalize their opinions more than others. At least you can't say he's not communicative on the point.

Yeah, I think its stupid to live in a place where you feel hateful toward 97% of the residents, but maybe the guy was hateful in the states and at least here he has a way to justify his hate.

I wouldn't date him (or, likely, be friends with him) but its your decision to make.

Let

Ha, I thought it was a veiled cocaine reference! Hence, the confusion!

Spot-on, Onika and letahl.

I kind of don't know what to advise. Yeppers, he sounds like a racist.

Is this a problem ? I dunno; as has been stated, lots of people are, and there are even good numbers of them in places like STT and STX (Though I confess to being annoyed, but not shocked, that people like that would even come here or remain here. Alas, there are those who have an amazing capacity to ignore the inhabitants and live in their own bubbles of beautiful scenery.)

If he is a racist, does this make him a bad companion? That's a matter of individual taste I guess.

Best of luck,

Ilo

I meet a lot of people down here who have kind of become racist since living ere...but it's due in fact that they have had bad encounters with the locals too many times to count.

After the latest times of having a local provide you with bad service and not care, or suck their teeth at you, many can come to generalize and group all of the race together and feel some serious anger toward them. The guy you're seeing has probably been fed up enough times in his tenure here to make such comments, and has probably hung out with others who agree with him and thus has never been taught that this isn't something you should say out loud. So he's white, you're white...he thinks you'll get the joke. But you sound more open minded than him.

I don't think he's a bad person, as l say there are many people here feeling the burn from the local population and using crude humor as a way of dealing with it. I suspect this is just his way and it's up to you to determine if it's too much to handle.

Cory

In the context in which I've heard it used, it is an ethnic or racial slur (variable ethnicities I think depending on where you live), it means barely (or not at all) washing oneself, then covering up the odor with fragrance, powder, etc.

Ilo

i did laundry today at a laundromat because my machine is down, i swear you have not lived until you have washed your clothes with 23 west indian women watching soaps and game shows, lol i've never heard so much teeth sucking and "cheese and breading" in one place for years and i guess until i came home and read this thread did i realize that i was the only white person there, when i go to doc hess's office i sometimes think i'm back in minnesota because it's so white there, i've seen white people look around for a white clerk in a store for help while the locals stand there trying to assist, i've seen blacks do the same,some of the comments i've heard from both sides over the years about interracial dating here would curl your hair, both sides are equally guilty of racism as far as i can tell, it would be great to have a territory wide public forum on race and racism and what all that fear and ignorance means, because thats all racism really is.

I think he is a bad person and I wonder why he chooses to live in the VI.

well linda what about the 11 no votes from our senate, were they bad? and yet they choose to live here

Hello
So as we are thinking of moving to STT are white people discriminated against and the minority? I do not want to move where i do not feel welcome or safe. What is "teeth sucking?" Huh, i am stumped, why the racism? I suppose it's the same as it is here in the states, but here there is much more space to segregate if that is what you choose to do. This is not what i was hoping to hear about the island.

Not entering the race or giving an opinion, but when I was on Active duty in the US
Armed Forces, If we were in a hurry and didn't have time to take a shower we would refer a dusting by name in relation to where we were stationed. In England, (English Shower), Germany (German Shower), Texas (Tex Shower) etc. There was never any racist sideline to it. A little Right Guard. Old spice and you're good to go.

I came on the message board to validate mine & others opinions. We were just friends & I called him out after he made those comments & he insisted he isn't racist, that he "luvs all locals", especially the elderly locals, but don't get him started about local men. I'm not his friend anymore for a while now & never will be again in the future.

Since validation is what you are after, consider yourself validated. 😉
I think you did the right thing. As a new resident, you don't need to spend such time with negative people who will simply "color" your perspective of your new home.

As it is, I try to keep my mouth shut about my gripes when I meet people who are new here. But someone who reduces it all to race is bound to have a miserable experience here.

Being annoyed with teeth sucking doesn't mean you're racist. Nobody should embrace rudeness no matter which color the tooth sucker is. Here I've only experienced it with West Indians. However, people's annoying habits or ignorant behavior is seeming to give your (ex?) friend an excuse to exercise his latent racism which is becoming more blatent. Good choice to just be on a nodding relationship.

He moved down here with his family when he was around 17 yrs. old. Married a "Frenchie" in his early twenties. Has 2 kids-that is the reason he is still living down here. Because with the ex-wife they have shared custody or else, he said " I would move the H#@% back to the States as fast as I could."

oh you missed the point!!!! the teeth sucking was going on because of the soap opera antics and the game show contestants, teeth sucking just means you're vexed, why would anyone think it's racist

I'm in an interracial relationship with a local. It's an interesting experience. We've had teeth sucked at us outside the movie theater by other locals and we've gotten strange looks from some of the statesiders. There is racism here but I've realized that most of what I experience is ethnocentrism. I was speaking to one of my statesider friends on St. Croix about our experiences today. She's black and I'm white. We experience the same things. I too don't understand why there isn't more tolerance on both sides. Nor do I understand why someone would move to a place where they are in the minority and have a certain sentiment towards the majority.

Just my two cents...I couldn't socialize with someone that's small-minded like that.

I want to put in my 2 cents on the powder thing. Years ago we called a 'Spanish' when someone or even myself doused cologne on and went out with out a shower or bath. It is quite the contrary with the girls with the powder exposed on their chest. They are letting you know they had a bath and did not do a 'Spanish'. Powder sticks to wet skin, not dry skin. That's all!
As far as the racist issue, well she has figured that out.
As far a the sucking of the teeth. Suck yours back. What the heck!

RL

Which is true Ronnie. I took a shower & put the powder on & it stuck to me. I learned it from my Grandmother & great aunts. Let him live in his own small world. My local friends say there are 2 ways of "sucking teeth", one just in normal conversation or watching something on TV or listening to something like a radio program. But if u get in an argument with someone & suck your teeth & walk off, that is when it means something else-bad. Don't want to repeat it.. By the way, he was only a friend, no boyfriend or anything-thank God. & we no longer talk because I have a bi-racial child. I suck my teeth but as with the powder I learned it from my Grandmother & she is white & never was in the Caribbean.