Meeting the Neighbors

Your definately not alone on reading the site daily. I know when I finally get down there, I will post on the other end as well.

I would like the islander opinions on this also. I'm sure HipCrip does to.

Theresa wrote: " understand that saying Good morning, good afternoon, etc. is a way of being polite."

It's more than that. It's a mandatory preface to any social or commercial request. Imagine: you're at K-Mart looking for lightbulbs (you're at K-Mart because there's nowhere else to shop--at least on STX--get used to the Martha Stewart line). You politely inquire of a clerk: "Excuse me, can you tell me where the lightbulbs are?" They might tell you, but odds are you'll get a scowl and directions that take you the long way around through the toy isle and the camping equipment and that's assuming they look up from their conversation with a co-worker to acknowledge your inquiry.

No. Instead ou say, "Good morning. Excuse me, can you tell me where the lightbulbs are."

You will never get used to saying "good night" as an introduction, but "good morning" and "good afternoon" will become involuntary.

My sense is that, as a whole, continentals are perceived as being loud, too nosey, and inclined to ask too many questions. Polite inquiries are fine, but what might be seen as an engaging and interested conversational volley in the states is often interpreted as invasive and imposing to the locals. The continentals, on the other hand, couldn't care less. It's very much analogous to your standard ex-pat scene abroad. Or, as I like to categorize it, King Moonracer's Island of Misfit Toys.

I'd say it's always a good idea to meet your neighbors--particularly if you're a homeowner (cuz you never know when one of them might save your brand-new laptop from gun-wielding burglars), but I'd say that waiting for a chance encounter to do so is probably a better approach than showing up at their front door with a casserole and the Welcome Wagon. Then again, this depends on whether you're dealing with locals or continentals.

Thanks, Teresa, for asking this. Eve is right, I am interested in the answers -- I tacked this same question on in my earlier post about Giving Back to the Community, but it never really got addressed there.

I'm quite comofortable alreadywith how to approach the people who work in the shops, banks, restaurants, etc. In addition toi starting all interactions with a Good Morning/Afternoon/Night and a big smile, I make sure to say a sincere thank you for anything they do for me and tell the person that I hope they enjoy the rest of the da,/evening/weekend when ending the conversation. People who appeared to be disinterested or cranky or cold when we appraoched have all returned our greetings and warm smiles after such an exchange. It's worked in Kmart multiple times, in the bank, and in trying to get my wheelchair into semi-accessble places across STX.

I do hope that waiting for a chance encounter to meet our new neighbors comes quickly -- we are told by the previoius owner of our new home that the neighbors all watched out flor each other (and they had no problems of any kind in the two years they lived there). As our new house sits in a little drpression so that all the other houses around us look down on our hous and yard, having a good relationship with our neighbors will be a terrific added home security system.

Greetings All,
We are renting first before buying, and I have read that landlords are a good resource to finding out more 'inside' info. I think that neighbors too would be great resources, however to get to that point - I was hoping we could get a little more feedback on how to go about getting to know them. I am sure some of you 'longtimers' have some info to share? I hate to beg, but I really wanted to get started off right when moving. "Only one chance to make a first impression"- you know? Thank-you in advance!
Teresa

Hello Teresa, Hip Crip and Eve,

I think VirginBound's comment about it depends on who your neighbors are is important. I also think it depends on where you are living (what type of housing/apartment siutation). For example if you move into an apartment that is part of a house; well your landlord likely lives there and will be your closest neighbor. Some landlords don't want more then a business situation (you are the tenant and thats that), others might be friendly (maybe sit out on the deck with you once and a while and talk, help you with your questions about the islands, show you around); whats right for you to do in this situation really depends on the initial feeling you get. If you sense the landlord doesn't want to be friends then you might take a slow approach or no approach and just keep it at good morning how are you and thats that. I have heard landlords complain that their tenants are too buddy buddy and want to borrow tools, asking for rides because they don't have a car ect. And I have heard other landlords say they have tea with their tenants once in a while and are friendly. Had one tenant (a single older man) tell me that his landlord would bring him a plate of food when the family had special dinners and lunches like Thanksgiving or birthdays but never invited him just would bring food, drinks, deserts; so being friendly with reservations of maintaining a distance/business situation. So in the apartment situation it depends greatly on the landlord.

If you live in a condo or apartment building or a house with numerous apartments... so you have several neighbors right next door you might spend the first couple of days just looking to see who your neighbors are and then perhaps knock on the closest neighbor's doors and introduce yourselves. No need for food or deserts just introduce yourself, see what reception you get intially and then when you see them around what the conversation is like. After the introduction and a few chance meetings over the first few weeks you might have a bbq or something and invite some of your neighbors and see what happens.

If you moved into a house; it depends on how close your neighbors are. Houses here are not in a grid layout so in many cases meeting your neighbors will mean driving up their driveway; in this case it depends on whether the neighbor is a local or a continental. I know quite a few locals that would find it really suspicious if someone that moved in down the street drove up their driveway, knocked on the door and said "hey I am so and so and just moved in down the street" and these same people might welcome the introduction if they were say in their yard or driveway walking the dog or cutting the grass and you were passing by and stopped and introduced yourself. A continental person might be more familiar with the tradition of pies and food introductions and be more receiving and welcoming of the in person introduction at the front door.

Some areas have civic associations you could look into; ie. I believe there is an East End group and a Northside Association on St. Thomas. There is a Water Island association on Water Island. I don't know about St. Croix or St. John.

Hope that helps.

--Islander