How safe??
Hey all,
I also have a friend that may be moving down there in several months. She is mid 20's very attractive but with a history of mental challenges. She has a hard time holding down jobs and has been very sheltered by parents. She has also had some mental breakdowns brought on by stress. I think she feels like living there will be like being on a big beach vacation if you know what I mean. I am very concerned for her safety. Any advise??
Thanks
Read the posts... It is generally safe, but more like a bigger city then its population shows. You need to be careful anywhere new, but it seems crime is high there.
Is your friend single and coming there alone? She will need to find some support in new friends or such and it can be very hard to be in a new place and not know anyone. Also the crew from the mainland are often only here a few months then gone again.
Is she serious in her move or just thinking on it? Seems many are dreamers.
If I am there when she decides to make the move i would be happy to help in anyway.
You are a good friend looking out for her!
Good luck...
Tom,
Well, she is very impulsive. I think she has Bipolar disorder and that is one main reason i am so concerned. If she makes it there, I predict that she will be very depressed and want to come home in several months. You can see my reason for concern. She has no idea I am researching these things, I just want to make sure that she is making a good sound decision. She is an ex of mine. Very awesome girl but many problems that become a psychological drain on everyone she is around.
T
As I read your caring post regarding your friend, what concerns me most is not her physical safety, but her ability to adapt to the oft-challenging social structure here on the island. Living in the VI is not a "big beach vacation."
I have lived on St Thomas for 2 years and have had my share of mini-breakdowns just attempting to accomplish what would be routine tasks back in California. It is hard to explain if you don't live here, but if I can offer an example: This is the only place I have ever lived (including several Third World countries), where it is customary to hire a third-party to register your vehicle. That may seem a minor point, but it is demonstrative of a larger issue.
I love living here, but honestly don't know if I could make it without the added strength provided by my husband. If your friend moves down, she will need to establish friendships with other like-minded young women fairly quickly.
Now, as far as holding jobs, etc., in her favor I must say that I think the VI is very forgiving of people's "issues." So even if she finds herself terminated from one job she will probably be able to obtain another.
I wish her good luck and feel free to refer her to this board if she has any questions about living here!
I just saw your second post: Has she been diagnosed and, if so, is she medicated? That may help her to tackle the issues she may face if she chooses to follow through with the move.
Yes,
She has been diagnosed with clinical depression but the Dr. thinks she may be Bipolar? She quit taking her meds and going for her treatment about 1 month ago. I feel like this move is some sort of manic pipedream she has conjured up to escape from the real issues inside herself. She had a suicidal episode about 4 months ago also. I know her better than anyone and that is why I am so concerned. I just don't see that she can function on her own there without support and especially without being treated. Her parents are in denial of her problem as well. Sorry, for this heavy subject I just don't know how to get through to her except to let her go and then crash while she is there.
T
Another small problem is that the mental health system here is not up to stateside standards. There are not enough psychiatrists and othe mental health professionals to meet the existing needs of the community. I commend you for being concerned.
Sorry, but I think the last thing this gal needs is a move-all the planning, packing, change of environment, worrying, etc. Moves are stressful and challenging. Moving to the USVI is very challenging. Your reservations, tnsx, are well founded.
Hey, Saw your posting, Just out of curiousity, How soon till she makes a decision? Maybe you should speak with her about your concerns. Where is she moving from and with who?
She seems like a perfect candidate for Key West. It's the island get away that people dream of but with much more of a safety net than the VI. (Don't tell her that though.) Key West is full of people running from something. Their culture is very forgiving in regards to everything just because of that. The security blanket for you is that it is very close to the mainland. It's actually connected so she can just drive away when she is done (or you can make the drive to pick her up if something goes wrong.) There are definately a lot less "catches" to living in KW than in the VI. The medical system is actually rather good because it is a very popular destination for the well to do. It is a retirement haven as well as a AIDS active city. Many medically necessary moves are made because of the Caribbean climate. Medical standards are probably much better that the VI. I have a feeling that she will find a lot more people to hang out with and opportunity to find a peer group faster and easier there than in the VI. Its definately more of a party town to keep her occupied as well as being extremely safe for a single female. There is no part of town that is off limits because of crime. It is too heavily tourist orientated as well as being only 3X5 miles. The main part of the island actually is only the west half and the east side (New town) being all residential.
I would probably have to vote no on this one, however, everyone has to make mistakes on their own. Definately a good idea to have her do a little reading on this site. Maybe her ideas of what she is looking for will help to understand her. Good luck.
I hate to be a wet blanket but I have known others like her and the VIs are the last place she should move as the sudden change in lifestyles will in all probability send her over the edge for good. I am sorry that I needed to say it but I have seen it happen before and they usually wind up in a mental inst. for life or do comit suiside.
Please , please , please don't let her do this!! Unfortunatley ( sp? that doesn't look right)I have known too many people with Bi Polar conditions. I do not want to go into details , but all are either dead or in prison. If you care about her , please make sure that she is in a place that someone can make sure she is taking her medications and that she has care avaiable. This is VERY VERY VERY important for someone that is Bi Polar.... She may seem ok ... but she needs to be looked after. Moving somewhere on her own is not the proper move for her. I plead with you! Take care of her ,even if she thinks she doesn't need it! They are very tricky people! But very lovable!
Well guys,
Thanks so much for the advise. I wish there was something I could do but she is my X and right now she does not want to talk to me. She is my best friend but she is in the shut me off mode. I think she is in a manic state right now. She is planning on moving in mid Nov so i pray she has a crash before then so we can get her some help. Her parents are in denial that she is sick but myself and some other friends are fully convinced she is sick. Is it really that dangerous for her to move here by herself. Her mom is coming to help her settle in but then will be leaving after that. I appreciate you alls concern. I wish I could do something but unfortunately I can't. I am really the only one who sees her problem to the full extent. If she crashes in St. Thomas can she get some help until someone can get down to her??? She most certainly needs to be in a long term treatment program and I know she will end up in one sooner or later. Please keep your advise coming. We really need to just agree in prayer that she gets too sick to move down there before Nov. I just don't see that she can make it on her own.
Thanks,
T
You sure have my prayers and I include her also. I hope she does not make it to the VIs for her sake.
She will be in my prayers as well. Have you tried to talk to her parents? how do they feel about her move? Maybe an intervention by a group of friends and yourself could make her realize that she may not be thinking clearly about this move. If she sees how many people care, are worried and do not want her to go maybe she will think differently about it. Does she see anyone and why did she go off her meds? Is this a move out of spite becaue of the break-up or does she really have a reasonto go down there?
May I just say each and everyone of you is terrific. I move to STT on Oct 1 and I'll be proud just to be on the same island with people as nice and caring as you guys are. May God bring sunshine and smiles to all of you. See you on the 1st!
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