How do you handle guests?

Extended visit: We don't permit guests to stay over a week. Well, parents are permitted to stay more than a week but no one else. And, if I've had too much company.....I tell them when is a bad time and when would be a better time. If it doesn't meet their schedule, they can call me from their hotel and we can plan to meet for lunch, dinner or a day at the beach.

Dislike spouse, child, _____: Unfortunately, you either have to suck it up or tell them there's room at an inn somewhere close by....but, I've never been able to say the latter. Unruly children - I am much more assertive. After all, they are in my home. Obnoxious, incessant talking, judgemental, etc. spouses.......I keep telling myself "it's only a week, it's only a week, it's only a week" and try not to get cornered alone in the same room with them. Pathetic, I know.
Folks who expect to be waited on......they get their first drink from me stating so they'll be able to get their own the next time, here's where everything is and if they can't find something.......keep looking. As far as dinners, well before the guests arrival I have a few "planning" calls. During these calls we decide what night THEY are preparing & serving their favorite dinner, what night WE are preparing & servng dinner, and what nights we will all be going out for dinner. Breakfast, I tell them, everyone is on their own. First one up makes the coffee. Lunch - catch as catch can. You gotta be up front about it and if they don't "get it" immediately - they will soon figure it out.
I take them on a tour (walking & driving) and show them where things are and how to get around. After that, they're on their own.

I have lived on the beach in Florida since 1983. I got a lot of practice trying to figure out how to deal with guests during the winter especially but all year 'round.

Ha! My spouse comes from a large family and we knew this would be a problem so we purposely purchased a house without any room for visitors. We put folks up in a hotel and chauffeur them around because some are afraid to drive here and others are too financially strapped to rent a vehicle. It is nice to have our home to ourselves each night to discuss, without the risk of being overheard, the snotty remarks our visitors inevitably make each day about how Rastas "really would be more presentable if they'd only cut their hair," how the service at restaurants is "appallingly slow," how "the roosters ruin any hope for a good night's sleep," etc. 😉

And sometimes, a guest's ignorance of geography can work in your favor.

I have a relative by marriage that keeps asking me how things are going in the Bahamas. I really don't care much for this person, but I keep things cordial and win lots of brownie points by asking him when he plans to visit!

Best,
Mell (Carnival smiley)

As for difficult guests, I don't think they need to be handled here any differently than what you would do now if they visit. But, a few things we have learned about visitors ( we have had many in just 15 months). 1. We have a one-bedroom house so there's no room at the inn (2) Many people aren't comfortable driving here nor would I want my 74-year old mother attempting to drive here. Be prepared to shuttle folks if you have to (3) They are on vacation, we are not. So, our time with them will be limited (4) We conserve water and electricity at our house and teach them how to do the same. We have found that discussing all these things prior to the visit helps. Including a discussion about how expensive groceries are - not to mention eating out! Visitors can be real budget busters if these things aren't discussed frankly pre-visit. In a very friendly way, of course! Oh, one last thing. Our lifestyle on island is different than what they are used to. Prepare them for that. But, it's what we have chosen and we love it and want to share it with them. Not everyone will like the lifestyle and if they don't, they probably won't be back. Now there's a plus for those unwanted visitors!

We just moved down here but I do not see us having much problem with friends visiting... now, family is another story! We told all of them that we moved to St. Croix, Wisconsin!

It's really tough dealing with guests after working all day. The first few days are fine but after that I catch myself really dragging. Luckily, by now the novelty has worn off so I don't get the endless parade of houseguests.

Thanks for all of your responses. We will be there next Monday. A friend and her daughter are planning to come down the first week in June! My in-laws said that they would give us time to settle in before they come down, so they are waiting until JULY ! Oh boy !

Only advise I can give with regards to visitors is the same as I do here in Los Angeles.

I send them the local google map with surrounding hotels. I think Mort Sahl once said the problem with relatives is that they are inherited critics.

And I'm sure not looking for brownie points.

We rarely invite guests to stay at our home. When we do, it's usually our two grown children & their spouses and our grandchild or a couple of very close and dear friends we've known for forever (not necessarilly all at once). If other friends or relatives call to say they are planning to come to the island for a vacation we reply by saying: "Great, let us know what hotel you are staying at and we can meet you for drinks and maybe dinner". You'd be surprised how many of those potential visitors decide not to make the trip. Our position is those friends and relatives never wanted to visit us for extended stays when we lived back in the states so why should we be expected to provide room and board for these same people just because we have we have a home in the Caribbean. We own a home not a hotel or retaurant.

As for our children and the few very close friends that we do invite for a stay, they have been visiting us for years and years - they know the drill - they clean up after themselves, they make their own beds, do their own laundry, prepare their own breakfast & lunch, everybody pitches in preparing dinner and when we decide to dine out we split the bill but occasionally the guests offer to buy a dinner as a jesture of thnaks for providing room and the "fixin's for breakfast and lunch".

Simple, really!

Dear Suzette,
It is YOUR home and YOU set the timetable for guests, relatives or otherwise. They do not tell you when they are coming. It is perfectly polite (and normal) for you to gently say something along the lines of...oh, dear, I'm afraid we won't be ready for guests then. Why don't you come in ???????, when we will be able to give you a super relaxing time.

Or better yest, tell them for every week they stay with you, you plan to spend 2 weeks with them?

Yea, but they are probably from somewhere you won't want to spens two days let alone two weeks 🙂

yes, terry, I was thinking the same thing

I'm glad this topic came up...we are looking at a one bedroom place, and I was worried that we would have no place for visitors. But now that you are all talking about it.....maybe a one bedroom wouldn't be such a bad idea after all! LOL.

A 1-BDR is often sufficient. You really won't have as many guests as you expect initially. Everyone thinks it sounds great to have a free place to stay in the islands, but even then the airfare is tough for a lot of them to manage. And why should you pay more for a property and the upkeep on a larger house or condo than you need for yourself just to provide others with a free hotel room? Many 1-BDR properties have hide-a-bed couches or room to put in a murphy bed for guests you really want to have stay with you. Others can get a hotel and visit with you as your schedule allows. Chances are you can't take a full week off every time someone would want to come to the island. It's their vacation, but you still have to work to live. Most guests who stay in your home will expect that you will be available to entertain them most of the week and possibly to provide transportation and meals, too. What a great deal for them! Not so great for you. Dont let them walk all over you, but do welcome them and try to spend a weekend day with them if they manage to visit the islands. But their vacation is on their dime, not yours.