HELP!!!

You should feel guilty.... how dare you sacrifice years of your life getting an education to have a nice life for yourself.

You can always donate your money to charity, and live among the poor if it REALLY bothers you.

JET

It's simple Lauren, "from those whom much is given, much is expected." Move to your dream but don't lose sight of the fact that you can, in many different ways, help correct the ills of society. It's one of your charges for being blessed.

Bill

Interesting...
For the moment let us put aside the probable fact that you are tired and exhausted from years of school and discipline. And also the possibility that you and your mother are looking at the rest of your life from two different perspectives.

First point...You should not feel guilty about doing well financially as a lawyer or anything else. If you work for it, and have the skills that's where you should be.
BUT You can and SHOULD give back to your community (wherever it is).

There are poverty and crime issues all over the states. In the Virgin Islands, good people can really make a difference. That is not as true in some other places.
It is true here.

It is time to grow up in a responsible way. You owe much to your mother. But you also need to be who you are. The only way to do that is to experience other "things". That doesn't mean putting yourself at risk or doing stupid things. That means living your life and making mistakes and growing from them.

I have to tell you, I am an "old guy' (well not that old) so I understand your mother's fear and impatience. If things don't work out you try something else. You go on and you grow. give it a chance.

b

b did a very good job of pointing out the issues to you. Take it from another old guy (yes that old), life ain't a dress rehearsal for anything else. Live your life like you want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Being the father of two grown children, I can in some ways sympathize with your mother. My son lived in St Thomas for a couple of years and now lives in Playa del Carmen, MX. I had some problems with that for a while, but when I saw he was happy and enjoying his life, I got over it. Go for it.

(Ric steps down from his soapbox)

I apologize if I sound flippant, but I don't understand the issue.

Poverty doesn't go away because you choose to live somewhere else, so if you decided NOT to live on STT I don't see how it would make you feel any more or less guilty. For that matter, where could you move to that poverty isn't fairly close by?

The issue can't be choosing a lucrative career, either. To begin with, that's something you and your mother had to talk about before you started law school, right? Besides, if everyone who could be successful in life chose to live in poverty out of guilt, would poverty be any less frequent? (On the other hand, if every fortunate person in the world were to give of their wealth and time to help those less fortunate, wouldn't poverty be far less than it is now?)

So the guilt question baffles me. Sure, if your mother is concerned about crime I can understand that, but guilt has no part in your decision or her argument. What really baffles me, however, isn't the fact that she brings the argument up, but that a good lawyer can't counter it. "Objection, Your Honor -- relevance."

You don't need a Pro/Con list. You need to choose what kind of a life you are going to live and then stand up for it. Follow your heart.

I think others have given wise and generally helpful advice.
Follow your heart.
Above all else, listen to yourself and your dreams.
If your mother has raised you well, you should be able to decide what your dreams are and pursue them. Give back to your community.

Lauren,

I have to agree with SailAway here... not sure what the real issue is - perhaps your mom just doesn't want to you to go and this reason is the best one she could think of.

It would appear if the arguement is that you shouldn't live somewhere -where there is some poverty and crime then the underlying message seems to be live somewhere where there is no crime and poverty thus ignoring that fact that these social issues exist everywhere > this way of living would be far more quilt inflicting in my opinion.

So you went to school to get a good job - thats what lots of folks do - and it takes lots of different folks doing different things to make a community work. And believe me there are lots of people making lots of money in the Virgin Islands - you would not be alone if that is what you were thinking. Granted the majority is not - so if you want to help those folks - volonteer at schools, community activiites, fund raisers...

Regardless of where you live there are still going to be starving kids and poverty on every populated continent and IN the USA! I recall driving into Washington DC and being SOOOOOO shocked at the vast difference between being right in the center of DC and being on the outskirts.

Have a new discussion with your mom and figure out what the real issues are here.

All the best in your decision making process.

--Islander

Lauren,

Fellow barrister here. Never feel guilty for what you have honestly achieved. You owe it to yourself to be happy, and if moving to St. Thomas and practicing law makes you happy, then do it!

I don't mean to preach the virtues of supply-side economics, but a place that has much poverty needs you and your investment the most. You will be hiring people, buying their supplies, and providing services (pro bono to the people who can't afford it.) This has a direct and positive effect on the community in which you live and work.

Finally, I've never understood the logic your mother is using. Would the poverty in STT be better if you took a lawyering job in New York City? Very curious reasoning indeed.

Good luck to you, and if I ever need a lawyer in St. Thomas, I'll look you up.

M

Even though I agree with all, I have to put in my two cents.
Take it from a mother of a 21 yr. old that you're mother is probably worried and concerned about you moving to an island and venturing into the unknown, but that is what makes life interesting.
Please do pursue your dreams.......this also comes from someone who didn't and has always regretted it. If you have wanted this since you were 6 and don't pursue, you will regret it and will blame your mother, if you don't.

Just some more words of advise!

YL

my turn, i have to agree with YL, if you dont follow your dreams you will end up regreting it your whole life, i had the oppertunity to live for free on the island of cyprus in the mediterranian. with a job doing what i love most in life SCUBA diving. i didnt take it. i let too many people talk me out of it, i took too many people's advice. i was 19 at the time, im 24 now and i know thats a young kid still but there are always those dreams that you choose not to do because of others advice. but remember they are not the ones that will be regretting it, they wont be the ones enjoying and fulfilling your dreams. you need to do what your heart tells you to. since that time i have lived 2 years in australia, alaska, and all over the western us, and soon to usvi (oct 14). i know that i would still be stuck in someplace that i dont want to be if i kept listening to "others advice." just decide that you want to do it and do it. it really is that easy. and remember that your the one that gets to live your life. did any of that make sense 🙂

Lauren ...

Are you there?