Having second thoughts

How long will you be able to stay on your PMV? It can be difficult for people to come for long enough to get beyond the feeling that they're on vacation and really evaluate living in the islands. One thing that can help is if you don't stay at a tourist hotel when you visit... locate a room for rent or a private condo in a place populated by locals (whether born here or people who have also moved here) rather than vacationers. The more time you spend interacting with people who live here rather than people on vacation, the better you will be able to evaluate how well the island life suits you.

Life here is going to be the antithesis of life in NYC. No hustle or bustle or all-night Chinese to be found. Few services, limited shopping, no NY stle delis. But what we lack in those areas is offset by a sense of peace and lower stress level that can come with a slower paced life. Honestly evaluate your reasons for considering the move. Are you moving TO something? Or FROM something?

Best of luck with your PMV next month... and with your relocation if you find yourself inspired to make the move after the upcoming visit. The USVI can be a wonderful place to call home.

I'll be able to stay for three of four days. I do know I have been tired of the hustle and bustle of New York for quite some time. I do dream about a slower pace. I will try to make the most of my PMV. My main objective is seeing if I can find a decent place to live.

Iola: One more small piece of advice...do not burn your bridges back home. Even if everything works great on your visit, you find exactly the housing you want, etc. it seems as though a large percentage of people leave within 6 months. So don't sell everything and take off. Put enough stuff in storage up there so you could easily return if needed. Sometimes knowing that you CAN return makes it easier to stay.

Also read more here on the supposed slower pace of life. (It isn't always.)

Iola:

I, too, was tired of the bustle of New York, so I moved to Vancouver, but eventually got extremely tired of it - no bustle, very boring after New York.

So I moved back to New York, was as happy as a clam in a shell, till I got tired of all the bustle. So I moved to Paris, and that was terrific, till all the charm wore off and the lack of bustle drove me nuts. Sipping wine at a bistro was nice, but the sense of energy, of being in the middle of it all wasn't there. So I moved back to New York.

The problem with New York is that it is very difficult to move to another "city", because, in my humble opinion, nothing quite compares to New York. So, perhaps a move to the Virgin Islands might work. It's so different, that there is no comparison, and it just might work for you.

But as East Ender said, don't burn your bridges. You never know, and trying to find housing in New York.........well, you know how difficult that is. Good luck to you. Hope you make the right decision for you.

I recently made the move from New York in August. I have to say I miss New York dearly. However, I was tired of the tense energy that runs the city, so in a way, I am glad to have moved. I have to agree with what the others have said. Come with an open mind, check it out, and really try to see through the beauty so you can determine if there are things that really might bug you if you lived here permanantly.

If you have skills that are needed here- hospitality, medical, and more, you might just really love it. If you've been freelancing or have a small business that depends on customers or suppliers on the mainland, moving here adds a good measure of cost and time for you. I will say that I have had some creative breakthroughs here, whereas in New York I was in a bit of a rut. St. Thomas is great to just totally shake up your life if you have been in a city for a long time. New York is great for many things, but moving here has made me realize that it isn't the only place to be.

About apartment hunting- finding a place here is no cup of tea. You get more space for your money, but it really isn't cheap, at least on St.Thomas. There are some cute places and deals to be had if your timing is right. There are also slumlords here, just like in NY. At least here there aren't any brokers to deal with here.

Best of luck and have a great visit!

I agree with those has said that moving to the VI might be less stressful than what you might find in the big city like NY. I guess the stress for me is just the rebirth kind of stress. Having to adjust to a new way of dealing with everyday life as I always knew it is a stress in itself. CHANGE can be difficult, but after of being born you realize there is so much to discover and learn outside of the world as you know it. If you are into discovery about self, people, history, culture and more then I think it will be OK. I agree with someone else who said the first thing you have to do is go where the people are. Get out of that torist thing as soon as you can.

I am going to heed everyone's advice and stay open-minded. I left New York once before so I know I will miss it. Ten years from now I don't want to regret that I never explored this opportunity. Trying to stay optimistic. I already have a job so I should count my blessings. Will try to avoid all the tourist spots on my visit next month. I do look forward to a whole new experience.

EASTENDER IS RIGHT. DO NOT BURN BRIDGES. I moved to the VI thinking I was going to stay for two years. WRONG! I moved back to the mainland, and I had given my furniture, etc. away. Seriously, if you are having second thoughts, think of these thoughts as RED FLAGS! Go down, check it out, but keep in mind that visiting the VI is much, much different than actually living there. I will say this - I have been back on the mainland for a few months, and although I miss some aspects of the VI, I do not long to go back. Everyone is different, of course, but I cannot reiterate enough - listen to Eastender and pay attention to the red flags. I did not - I saw the flags that were there, but I rationalized them away. BIG MISTAKE! However, once you know better, you do better, so now I pay attention to my gut, and I have the VI to thank for that. Good luck!

Sometimes unhappiness has little to do with where you live. If that's the case, you can't expect a move, even to a tropical island, to provide that happiness.

Where ever you go, there YOU are. If you're not happy in Louisville, KY or NYC, chances are you won't be happy in the VI.

Be realistic in your expectations and good luck.

If you are having second thoughts, maybe you should plan on staying 6 months or so and see how you feel after that?

My 2 cents.

"Sometimes unhappiness has little to do with where you live."

True, and sometimes it has everything to do with where you live.

"If you're not happy in Louisville, KY or NYC, chances are you won't be happy in the VI."

Not necessarily true - maybe you're unhappy because you want to live with palm trees and warm weather. In that case, the VI might just be the ticket for you.

Very well said, Angela! There is no such thing as running away from ourselves.

I think Alexandra's comment says it all:

"Are you moving TO something? Or FROM something"

THIS is the recipe for success or failure in any endeavor. I moved to my current home first because it was a good opportunity and I was closer to family. The fact that my previous home was a pit was truly secondary.

The "grass is always greener" chiche comes into play here. Nothing will make you happy if it's only an excuse to escape whatever it is you're leaving. I've never lived in NYC and never even could - I'm not wired that way. But ask yourself if what USVI has to offer is what you want first, abpve it being an alternative to where you are.'

$0.02

One of my main reasons for wanting to move to VI was my love for the caribbean and the culture. It is my heritage and I saw accepting this job as a chance to experience it. The motivation is not sitting on the beach, sailing or sitting under coconut trees. I was hoping it would allow me to explore the West Indies and that is not limited to the Virgin Islands but the entire region.

When I vacation every year on the Islands I usually stayd at relatives or friends so my desire was not associated with the tropical resorts or hotels. A large part of me wants to experience what my parents and their parents did. Yet I am a New Yorker through and through even as I suffer through a Transit strike these past three days; walking the Brooklyn Bridge, my only means to get to work, I love this city and will always carry it with me.

I like your response. You sound like your heart is in the right place by wanting to experience your culture instead of fantasizing life "in paradise". It might be a good experience for you, especially if you have family ties on the islands. What a blessing to have support nearby in "learning the ropes". Best wishes in your decision making!

Regards,

Islacaribe