Going, going, gone...Moving time

First of all, let me say this post has been re-worked enough that I would be a rich woman if I were getting paid for it! On the heels of some other board occurrences recently, it’s poor timing – but in the interests of getting it out there before our lives turn into a whirlwind and common knowledge becomes some fodder to be chewed up and spit out, here it is, warts and all. Here's the giant bandwidth dntw8p referrerd to... 🙂

My husband and I arrived on island in August 2005 after a 10-day PMV in June. As a side note, during our PMV we were held up at gunpoint. I do not say that to frighten anyone – things just happen – and we did not allow that awful experience to deter us and have never had a single experience to rival that one since we’ve been here. We had secured housing before we came – we were set to go. He was supposed to be here in early July but came down with a rather startling and possibly life-threatening illness shortly after our PMV and was hospitalized in ICU, which delayed his arrival until late July. I followed sometime toward the end of August just in time for the STX picnic, which was most enjoyable and introduced us to people from this board. We’ve remained in contact with many of them and credit them for getting us through our first year – Ric and Linda J were the first to extend a hand of friendship and the common sense we needed so desperately, as well as a sense of belonging. For that we will eternally be grateful. I’ve also made some wonderful friends through this board and you know who you are – Hip Crip, danieljude, Mark, Linda from Michigan, Travelwoman and Twindomes, jnrhomes, etc. Some have only been cyber friends and fall into another category altogether…those who have patiently answered the multitude of questions we had both prior to arriving and after getting here. We have had experiences here the average mainlander can only dream of and it’s been quite the adventure.

We came to the VI, specifically to St. Croix, because it seemed to be the closest fit to our personal comfort zone. We explored this board and thought we did reasonably well on our PMV, although now I see many areas that should have been beefed up. At any rate, we came with our worldly possessions (bad move) after culling about 70% of our lives and set up housekeeping with 6 dogs and what we hoped was a new lease on life.

Many of you know my husband was wooed by a large corporation to come to work in the islands and we had every intention of this being our final move in our lifetime. We came from a rural town in west central Arkansas which is roughly the same area as STX but with half the population. We knew we were taking an initial pay cut to come here but hoped (and were told) things would even out. From stateside the cut didn’t look so bad…we could compensate…here we go, with almost to a fault the complete support of the families. Overall our experiences have been very positive…my husband enjoyed the people he worked with enormously, but the work load was unbelievable and unlike anything he has experienced in 33 years of professional life. Due to the work load, he does not feel he does justice to his customers but is more of a robot, and that's just not how he will practice his medicine. It's been disconcerting for him from the very first day and continues to be so. Unfortunately, the pay scale has not risen according to plan and doesn’t show any signs of vast improvement at any time in the near future. We have recently discovered that employees with the same company on STT are making approximately 15-20% more than STX, and both are far below the pay offered stateside if cost of living is factored in. The pay scale in the islands for his profession simply is not commensurate and likely never will be. Turnover is very high, and many times specifically for this reason.

I returned to Arkansas in May to find my once healthy, happy family in disarray – many of the older members are failing fast. Being baby boomers and being married to an eternally responsible soul, the discussion began to evolve that we should consider a return to the mainland at some point in the future. As I told another poster just yesterday, if you’re in charge of it all it’s hard to run the picnic from 2200 miles away. We also have grown sons who are starting real lives, thinking about marriage and families, and a whole host of other situations which are neither here nor there because the family is primary in our minds.

We have been offered an opportunity to return to Podunksville at what will amount to approximately a 30% pay raise and 80% workload cut, and this is pretty average pay for Arkansas. The cost of living is very inexpensive, comparatively speaking…I believe our property tax went from a whopping $324 to $348 in 2005 prior to our departure. I use that only as a reference point regarding what we were used to – prior to our living in the rural community we were living in Little Rock, where property taxes are quite high in the neighborhood we were in. In midlife when retirement is seriously taken to heart, finances have to be figured in. I don’t want anyone to get the impression this is about money, but it certainly did play into our decision heavily. Before anyone jumps me, yes – we could have cut our expenses for housing…but as mentioned many times before, the more “baggage” you bring along, the more difficult it is to find reasonable housing. The recent WAPA fiasco hasn't helped throw the odds in favor of remaining either...another situation which likely is a long way from resolution. Our baggage included our entire household (most rentals are furnished) and six dogs (which really narrows the playing field since they are quite large). We did not feel we possessed the knowledge of the island and island construction we needed to purchase a home and felt we would delay that decision until our feet were on the ground a little more. For us, this was a very good decision. Had we NOT arrived with everything we owned packed into a 40’ container and six hungry canines, I’ve no doubt our path would have been somewhat easier, but that wasn’t and isn’t and never will be our style. Now the logistics of returning are upon us, as my husband will leave on the 25th and I will be left to deal with the aftermath (again, LOL!).

Did we experience culture shock? To some degree, particularly with the homeless and mentally ill who have no safe place, and with the very overt drug transactions taking place in full view of anyone and everyone that basically are just overlooked. One other thing that we realized after we got here that we disregarded on the front end but which has become a matter of great importance to us – I have had breast cancer and have to have check ups. There is nothing that is going to happen to me, however, that would require an instant return to the mainland. My husband is quite another case…although his chance of recurrence of his illness is very small, we have been told by his physicians that should it recur, it will progress very quickly. Miami is the closest place that has the equipment to save his life….could we get him there in time? Yes, we have air ambulance insurance, but could everything be coordinated and him on his way to treatment before disaster set in? We simply don’t know but are quite unwilling to put it to the test. STX, STT, and even Puerto Rico hospitals do not have the advanced level of care he would require, but we assumed it was somewhere close. Moral: never assume. For average occurrences it seems health care is adequate - for the more off-the-beaten-track things, it is almost nonexistent and necessitates trips to the mainland or Puerto Rico. When you are dealing with a matter of hours and your life is hanging in the balance, the enormity of the situation becomes very real.

On a lighter note, we have never suffered rock fever – there’s too much to do and too many places to go and we are basically homebodies anyway. If your personal make up requires around the clock entertainment, St. Croix just may not be the spot for you. This is a relatively quiet, early to bed island that has it’s own special charm. It has it’s own special set of problems as well, but so does Podunksville, we’re just more familiar with those after a lifetime of being raised and living in the rural south. The islands are experiencing a growth and development spurt and with all change comes growing pains.

And so we will be leaving but are already planning a return vacation in the spring. We will always consider St. Croix to be a sort of second home for us. However, financially and emotionally it is simply not feasible for us to remain here when we have family responsibilities to attend to. It’s the right decision for us, and although we are leaving behind many friends who are dear to our hearts, we have to do what we have to do.

If you are an adventurous soul with gypsy feet, there’s nothing like this and you may very well quite literally find your place in the sun in the USVI. I am so happy we aren't heading into the latter years of life saying "if ony we'd done that". Too many people freeze or only dream, and life is too short...if it is your dream and your situation allows, by all means it will be something to cherish all your life. To balance, I would humbly offer up our own personal experience as an example that things can and will change, and one should seriously consider all of the workings of their lives before making the move. Getting to and from the mainland can be difficult and expensive – if you have situations there that require maintenance and frequent visits, you can go broke just trying to tend to that, never mind the day-long trips that beat you to a pulp!

And so it’s been great and wonderful and what have you, but another chapter in the book will close as soon as I can make arrangements to ship everything BACK and move the dogs as the weather cools. I thank each and every one of you who has contributed to this forum for your knowledge or perspective on life on an island. Perhaps my observances are best directed at those who are in much the same life position as we are – weigh all of your options. I wouldn’t change a thing – we would have still thrown the dice, we just sorta rolled craps. Those who have advised to cross bridges but not burn them are right on the money…your situation could possibly change overnight, and trust me – it’s a lot harder to get back than it was to get here (and I truly didn’t think that was possible!) For the record, as Albert Einstein said, we didn't fail - we only found 10,000 ways that wouldn't work. Never will anyone convince me that a life experience as enriching as this one is a "failure" simply because we have chosen to follow our hearts and return to the mainland.

I will continue to contribute to this forum for a brief period of time and perhaps be able to shed some light on the logistics of returning. There will come a time in the near future, however, when nothing I have to say would be appropriate because it will be yesterday's news. Things change very rapidly in some ways and v-e-r-y slowly in others. I would be happy to relate any personal experiences we have had and an opinion regarding such - however, it is what it is - one or two people's observations and opinions. That's all any of us really are trying to do anyway - give our perspective from our window on the world. Maybe my opinion will be "right" and please everyone; maybe not...but it's mine, I own it, and I generally give it away for free.

Be well, my friends. I will be here most likely for at least 6 weeks, my best bet is a couple of months….sleeping on the air mattress with a t.v. for company. Oh joy! Oh, well, that’s just life and change for you!

Thank you again for welcoming us to this lovely little island – we carry with us warm memories of good friends, good times, and a new awareness of a little more of the world. It’s been a voyage of self-discovery as well and I’ve no doubt we’ve learned things we could have never known otherwise – it’s been a blast!