FAINT OF HEART

Chris I will add a bit to the comment....

Some of my relatives say it a different way... they say that young people, young Americans, young Virgin Islanders (by young they mean people younger then their generation by the way and not teenagers or children but young/middle aged adults included in the generalization).... are "made of cotton"... and by this it is meant that we complain easily about everything... that we are not tough, resilient or resourceful, that we are spoiled by technology and by things being done easily, fast, with little effort and often by someone else but not us.

Although this saying of theirs was heard for numerous reasons from doing the dishes, changing a tire, using a saw, dealing with storms, to watering the garden and getting car service or phone repair and was used more to get the kids moving and doing chores... I think it carries over to what East Ender was getting to but of course not completely and it can be argued that whats the point of modern conviences if you don't utilize them and enjoy their benefits and why shouldn't we complain if things are not working effectively around us....

I would have to agree with East Ender... and add that if one is used to dish washers, no pot holes, 1 hour service meaning 1 hour or less, automobile garages that have all the parts and don't tell you to go find the parts and then come back, service people that have a perminant grin even though it might be fake but at least its there, government offices that are efficient, office staff that can always answer a question without giving you a run around, 24 hour grocery stores, 24 hour Walmarts, 24 hour Kinkos, zoos, parks, driving trips to waterparks, neighborhood bbq on 4th of July where pretty much all the neighbors come out, next door neighbors bringing over a welcome to the neighoborhood cake/pie, dogs that stay in their own yard without coming in yours, camping trips, river rafting, big football and baseball games and events centered around them, people being held accountable for their actions, people being frequently being rewarded for good doings, shopping at malls and having more then one mall to select from, having more then one phone company to choose from.... and can NOT understand or adapt to anything different or help to fix it... well then you won't do well here.

If you are "made of cotton" or "faint of heart" and can not be open to the large differences that exist, appreciate what is here, be resilient to the negativity, tough and resourceful when things are lacking in service, support or product... then you are going to get very frustrated, very disheartened, and more then likely leave.

I am not addressing the whys of things and not saying that the frustration is not a correct reaction in some cases only that you have to be tougher then the frustration.

And also I am not saying that the things I listed like poor service is true for every last office... just giving an example.

--Islander

I am coming to learn the yin and yan of island life. For every thing that annoys somebody who has stateside expectations, there seems to be a counterbalance, related to that thing, that demonstrates the charm of living here.

Your cell phone will not work everywhere. You will have a strong signal in one place and no signal 100 yards away. This can be quite annoying. The reason is that we are on a tall, rugged mountain. You can also take scenic drives on that same rugged mountain where you will get spectacular views that cannot be matched anywhere else. The good and the bad are directly related.

The traffic is sometimes very frustrating. As you're driving along, a car may stop in front of you for apparently no reason. It turns out they are picking somebody up or letting somebody make a turn into the lane of traffic. Very annoying when you're behind somebody. But quite welcome when you're the person who needs a ride or is trying to make a turn. The good and the bad are directly related.

I agree with Islander's explanation of why it's not for the faint of heart. Measured against the standards of service and reliability of modern conveniences found in the states, we are somewhat behind -- but not that far. Measured against how it was in the states even 20 years ago, we are well ahead.

But I would not want people to get the impression, in Islander's long list of problems, that it's all bad. I think Islander was trying to make a point, but in doing so left out all the counterbalances -- perhaps purposefully. I won't try to go through the laundry list, but if you want to find the silver linings, they are bountiful.

One thing Islander mentioned was "no 24 hour WalMart." Once we had visitors with a 10-month old baby girl who had never before been sick. She awoke at 2am screaming, and it turned out she had a fever. We had no thermometer. After an hour of screaming and no rest, my visitor asks "can you please give me directions to a pharmacy? Don't get up; I can find it, I just need directions." I could not help but laugh. The nearest 24 hour pharmacy, of course, is in San Juan. But it wasn't that long ago that anytown USA's pharmacy closed at 6:00. Just as our parents did, we managed, and we comforted the baby the best we could. The next morning, we had the names and feedback on 3 different pediatricians, and the one we went to did not ask for payment before seeing the child.

If you are open to new experiences, there are great rewards to living here. There also are great rewards for children growing up here. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Chris,
First off, let me start by saying the best advice I have seen to you so far is to
visit the island and see it for yourself. I would not make any decisions
until I saw the island and did some of the everyday things such as grocery
shopping, driving, laundry, etc.

My boss decided he was moving to STT last Feb. Since then, I have been
completely excited to go – having not seen the island first. He finally took
me down there on a recon mission the week before last. My first two days
on the island I was in complete culture shock. I called my loved ones
back home and said, “NO WAY!” After a few days on the island, I decided
that I could be open-minded and flexible enough to live there, so I signed
a lease and contract.

Especially since you have a wife and child, it would be wise if you visited the
island before you made any life-changing decisions. Will your boss let you
visit first before accepting the position? It's not like you are moving to FL
and can easily come home when time allows. You will be on an island in
the middle of the Caribbean!!

The only advice I can give you is to keep an open mind. The locals who
are writing to you on the message board seem like they are being very
fair with their posts. I feel that they have given a balanced account of
both the positives and negatives.

Best of luck to you,
~S

All respondents, I thank you for the time and effort that you have obviously expended to help someone that you do not know. There has already been a certain revelation about the community spirit in the islands just based on the feedback that I am getting. I would not expect to see so much activity on a posting in the states from people that I don't know and they don't know me.

One very interesting question that I would like to pose to SDAUGHTER....You obviously saw something on your first visit that contributed to your culture shock and almost immediately caused you to say island life was not an option for you. What was that one thing or multitude of things that got burned in your memory the first time around??

I myself am game to take advantage of the slower pace of life when I am not earning a living, however my wife and daughters emotional well being and happiness take much higher precedence than what I want to do. We are looking at taking an exploratory trip to the island before I make any decisions. If I knew what to prepare my wife for, then maybe it would not be such a shock. Anyone that would like to contribute to this conversation please feel free to do so.

Yin and yang! That is it! When we didn't have electricity for two months, the stars were incredibly beautiful! When it rains in buckets, the cistern fills up. No rain, no rainbow.

And "made of cotton"- think of the folks who WALKED from town to Tutu. Now no one will park in a legal space if they can double park a few feet closer! ROFL!!!

Hello,

I did mean to illustrate the open minded nature needed to succeed in living here... based on the original comment of 'not being for the faint at heart' in doing so perhaps I did it too well and Ms. Chuy is absolutely right the post needed to be balanced a bit by the benefits which are many.

East Ender.... the folks that I mentioned saying 'made of cotton' are in fact those same people that would have walked miles to get somewhere, miles to get water, miles to get groceries... perhaps that is why they are qualified to make the statements that they do.

SDaughter I too would be interested in what originally shocked you in the first couple days.

--Islander

Chris,
I am very glad you have decided to visit the island. As for your question (and Islander)
- what contributed to my culture shock......

Well, as East Ender stated to Chris' original post, I think the lack of "planned neighborhoods" and social infrastructure is mostly what I had a hard time with.

That and the fact that I was with my boss and coworkers, so I had no control over anything at all. Although that had nothing to do with the island, it had everything to do with my comfort level. Gee, am I a control freak?

When I was in my early twenties, I traveled the country for a couple of years. Moving from one town to the next on a whim – staying in youth hostiles and shelters. Now in my early thirties, I have found that I have become quite “prissy” – if you will, yet have not completely forgotten my roots.

I’m glad someone mentioned the yin and yang for that about sums up. I am looking forward to finding that balance again.

Although short, I hope this helps, Chris.

~S

Hi S - would you email me please.

Thanks.
Rita

Rita,
I just sent you an email.

~S