Disrespected at South Shore Cafe !!!!

Melissa,
I agree completely with Ed. I thank you for your support and understanding of my point and will be sorely missed if you indeed do decide to leave. Thank you again, and please feel free to pm me anytime you may wish.

Take care (ok, I know I have been saying that alot !!!),
p.s. Ed, I know you don't need your own personal post to express my gratitude

warmth, happiness, hope and health to all -
Lindsay

ok - she was rude to you - vote with your wallet!!!

I am sorry the owner handled the situation in a rude manner.

However. It was not the bread mans fualt for not brining the bread out soon enough, nor was it the hosts fualt for not "seating" you far away from the other tables.

If you want to dine in an adult restuarant with your very young child it is your responsibility to ensure that they do not disrupt the enjoyment of the other visitors. Be that, planning ahead with distractions or making a very mature decision to leave your child with a sitter.

Robert,
A very adult decision to get a sitter in order to dine in an "Adult" restaraunt? I suppose I didn't read the "Adults only" lettering on the CAFE sign.
Whoops, maybe the next millionth time I pass the CAFE I will see it.

Oh, and speaking of faults...

What again was it that my son was doing that was so "disrespectful". I thought I explained again and again (and now again) that he wasn't doing anything but babytalking. What was I supposed to distract him from exactly?

geez.... "Happy monday morning to me!" (I'll keep singing in hopes it becomes more positive from here!)

Starmight,

Don't worry about the anti kids in restaurants campaign. 🙂 Tolerance of all people includes being tolerant of people who are not tolerant of anyone else. I go to restaurants and hear just as many adults being loud and cursing as I do children being disruptive. Anymore, I am in a happy place in life and I don't notice the annoying people around me being annoying and if I do, I let it roll off my back. I find that I have less stress when I stop worrying about things I can not control. Anyway, Starmight, I hope you have many more good times than bad. Happy trails.

Teresa

When a place restaurant doesn't have hot dogs and hamburgers on the menu and entrees cost $25 and up that is usually an indication that you are in an adult restaurant.

As you can see from the responses on this board, people without children don't enjoy going to movies, restaurants and church and having nosey fidgeting children around them.

Sine there are a large number of older snow birds on the island you never are going to convince the majority of the people that kids in fine restaurants is OK.

Jim

Now I've heard everything! Children shouldn't be allowed to eat out in public or go to church? What should be done with them? Just leave them at home on their own until they reach adulthood? That would sure show some great family values, now, wouldn't it?

It sounds from many of the responses on this thread that people without children feel that children shouldn't count and they shouldn't have any rights whatsoever to be seen and/or heard. They should instead grow up in a closet and only let out into the light when they somehow mature enough in that restricted environment that they magically know how to act in public according to adult standards.

Children won't learn what kind of behaviour is expected in public if they aren't ever allowed to participate. If a child is shrieking or running wild and truly being disruptive, then yes, that should definitely be dealt with appropriately by the parent. If a child is talking, whether baby talk or in conversation with others in his/her own party, why is that a problem? Should adults also not be allowed to talk or laugh in restaurants and other public places? Some adults get pretty raucous sometimes.

It sounded from the description that the family was eating during early, family dinner hours and not later when a more adult atmosphere might be expected in a restaurant. The restaurant chose to provide a meal coupon as a prize at an event where children actively participate and often win the prizes. The coupon did not specify that only adults may eat at the restaurant or use the coupon. The restaurant names themself a "cafe", which is by definition a casual eating environment. Why on earth would the family have expected this to be a "fine dining establishment" prior to this first visit there? Why would they leave immediately after looking at the menu and seeing that prices are high? Most restaurants on this island are fairly expensive, yet I see children in most of them on a regular basis. Are families forbidden from spending $$ on food for their children if they choose? The restaurant was virtually empty from the description and they were seated in an outdoor area, which is often where families with children would be seated at many restaurants since the sound doesn't then reverberate off ceiling and walls if they do get noisy at some point. The owner had the option of moving the family to an empty indoor dining area away from the few other diners and refused. I don't see how you can blame the family for this situation and how it was handled by the owner.

If the family had walked in and found candle light and white linens and a hushed environment and waiters in tuxedos, chances are they might have opted to go elsewhere with their two year old. Then again, there's no law that says they should have had to. I know that when my sons were young they were regularly taken to restaurants and movies, etc. and there were never any behaviour issues with them in those venues. It was a regular part of their life and they learned the behaviour expected of them in those environments from very young. When children are excluded from participation in normal life activities, it's no wonder that when they are finally introduced into that "adult" world that they have no idea that there is a different behaviour expectation. There are many obnoxious adults in restaurants and movies all the time. Why should they be accepted and children vilified?

I agree that there are children who are rarely disciplined and their parents allow them to run wild in places where they should be calmed down. I didn't get the sense that this was the case with the toddler in this situation. If the child was regularly allowed to be a monster, then it is likely that there would have been many times people objected and asked the parents to deal with him. The very fact that the parents were poleaxed by the comment from the restaurant owner shows me that this was an unusual occurrence for them. Business owners should know better than to chase off customers without significant reason. It's bound to hurt business more in the long run than it might have "saved" on that night if the owner was truly concerned that this child might be somehow upsetting to the two other tables of diners. Even if there was truly a problem with the child, it could have been handled with tact and not such blatant offense.

most of us seem to all agree that the restaurant owner was rude AND parents should control their children in public to the extent they negatively affect the dining enjoyment of other reasonable persons.

However, since the mother is a vegetarian, she gets the benefit of the doubt from me. We vegetarians are the best!

While yes, the restaurant owner was rude, she has probably seen her fair share of misbehaving children and had her fair share of complaints from customers about the behavior of children. Perhaps she was having a bad day and took it out on you. It doesn't make it appropriate, but one does have to wonder why someone would just snap at them like that.
Anyway, I disagree with your decision to leave. You should have stayed and shown her that a two year old can behave properly. You let her win, and you let yourself lose. If you had stayed and tried to enjoy your meal, then maybe it would have improved both of your nights.
I recently worked at one of the most expensive restaurants on stt and people did regularly bring children, but they were usually under a year old and already asleep, or 8+. Our restaurant had no problem accomadating to children and even had a special kids menu. Getting a babysitter, especially while on vacation (as this was at a resort), is not always feasible.
I feel for you, and I think the way she acted was very rude, but I think you could have handled yourself differently. Why not always try to improve the situation?