Considering relocating, have LOTS of questions 🙂

Ok, this is a long post with a lot of questions requiring thoughtful response,

but I just can't get past the fact that the job is for $250K with housing!!!! I'd be on that job in a heartbeat.

STT is a lot of fun when you have a lot of $$$.

My shock and awe has subsided, so here is some quick off-the-cuff answers:

1. Homeschooling. There is a small movement here. I understand they are better organized on Water Island. With your income however you have the option of private school, some of which are quite good. Given your non-Christian inclinations I believe the only secular schools that might fit the bill are Antilles and Montessori. Another parnet on here might have other suggetions.

2. Mail Order. i mail order much of my stuff b/c either the selection is poor or the mark up makes it prohibitive to buy locally. for food products we have a few natural food stores. We also have Fruit Bowl, Marina Market, Dolphon Market (on STJ), and Gourmet Gallery. between all of those options your hubby and daughter should find all their supplies. also, Plaza Extra has a lot of vegetarian products b/c we have quite a few vegetarians in the community. lastly, the las Sunday of every month there is the Bordeaux market where many of the local Rasta/farmers sell their wares.

3. Drug problem. Marijuana is prevalent but avoidable. I understand the young'uns on-island can get their hands on harder drugs. I defer to someone else on how much of an issue it will be for your children (especially your high school aged daughter).

4. Religion. My family does not practice religion and leans toward a personal philospohy of spirituality. Ok, i just made that up, but you get my gist. Much of the island is Christian. That said, i have found that people by the same token tend to be more "tolerant" than I would have presumed. We moved here from San Francisco. No, there is no fun gay pride march but at the same time there are no gay bashing incidents. It seems to be live and let live as long as you are doing it where you live. I do not however presume to have any idea of how your daughter would navigate a lesbian relationship in High School here. anyone?

5. Harleys. Do a search. An old poster used to talk about this frequently. Something along the lines of: Yes, you can have your hog but she'll be rusted with a year.

6. Mold/Mildew and Bugs. Northside is prone to mold. The whole island is prone to ciky bugs. I have just learned to keep doors and screens closed at all times and imagine I am in a grand anthropolgical experiment.

Good luck on the job!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess there is a reason for that "check spelling" button...

I was enticed to STT in 1990 with big $$, housing, and interview/relocation expenses covered. When I returned to enjoy this fantastic offer things had changed drastically. My mistake was I was bored living where I was at. I was excited about following a dream, and I accepted a hand shake without a LEGAL contract.
There seems to be alot of talk concerning PMV in this forum. That should be your first and most important step.

also I can't imagine more bugs, than during spring and summer in rural Kentucky

Lol, yes the bugs here are quite annoying, but they are small and easy enough to avoid. It's the big ones that scare me. When we go camping I always manage to end up with some giant alien looking critter on my shoulder. I hate that. Not that they exist, but that they scare me so much. I really need to get over my fear of them.

There will be a legal contract or he won't be taking the job. And if they don't play by the rules, he doesn't play. He has walked away from good money many times because they didn't want to do things the right way. His reputation is everything and it is why we have what we have. We could be wealthy if we had no conscience, but we like sleeping soundly at night knowing we have done the right thing.

As for the drug question, I know it exists everywhere, whether you see it or not. Our kids aren't naive about drugs, but I just don't want to put them in a situation where temptation might be too great. If it's just a matter of avoiding certain areas or being more diligent about reminding them about what it can do to you, then that's not a problem.

Our daughter is used to being discreet about her relationships, but I was concerned about her being able to fit in with other teens there. I wasn't sure just how open-minded people were there. She will probably catch more flack from being a goth than she will for her personal relationships. And yes, I have already told her that wearing black will have to stop or she will have a heat stroke. She has since developed a preference for qypsy clothing. Anything to be different, I guess, lol.

I did search for the Harley info and hubby is torn. He doesn't want to leave his baby here, but she's too precious to let her rust to death. He was wondering if daily cleaning and care would be enough to keep her nice. Anyone?

Thanks to everyone for the replies and I am looking forward to hearing from more people. I honesly can't wait to get there and start exploring. I want to see everything, lol.

Oh yes, I remember this episode! I saw it on a rerun on cable. I can't remember the name...

Is that a subtle troll tip?
What's up?

I can't tell you specifically about "rusting" Harleys but as someone who tried keeping a prized sports car under similar circumstances I can tell you it's a losing battle. First, we all have good intentions of cleaning our baby everyday. That works for a few weeks but soon you become so busy with everyday life that you say to yourself "I'll skip cleaning today and do it tomorrow. Then it becomes once a week, after all you haven't ridden it since last Sunday and it was kept under a protective tarp. After a while you find that you are now cleaning it only about once a month or so. Then it stretches out to cleaning only after you've taken your baby for a ride. Then one day it happens, you come home late and tired after riding around the island so you tell yourself you'll clean it tomorrow. But tomorrow comes and you have too many other things to keep you occupied.

The thing is, you don't use your baby anywhere near as much as you used to and all the while the salt air is very slowly corroding the small parts on your bike. You take it for a ride and something breaks so you order the necessary part from the dealer in Miami, wait about three weeks for it to arrive then you make the repair. The next time you go for a ride something else breaks and the cycle begins anew. Finally the bike finds its way to the back of the garage or carport, under a tarp, rarely ever seeing the light of day - it becomes just too much of a hassle when you consider all the time and effort so you can ride the bike along the crowded streets of the island, those same streets that you travelled along everyday since you've arrived on island. Remember, the island is small and after you've done the "sightseeing" trip around the island 4 or 5 times there's nothing new left to see.

Beachbumq? Sorry, trying to be funny again.

Thank you, Afriend, you brought up some very valid points. I think leaving the Harley at his brother's will be the best thing for it. I just hope I can convince him of that.

Question for all... I have been reading this board everyday for a few weeks, trying to learn as much as I can. I used the search feature before posting, trying to be considerate of those who read and post frequently. I obviously missed a few things, like the Harley posts, but in my excitement I plead temoproary insanity. Anyway, what did I do in the way of my first posts to deserve being called a troll? I know you don't do to every new poster because I have read almost every new post that had a relocating question in it. I was under the impression that you all were a friendly and helpful bunch. I guess I was wrong.

Thank you to those that were helpful, your kindness is very much appreciated.

Kelly

In all fairness to Teresa, I interpreted her comment to be a troll tip. I may be wrong.

Nonetheless, we are a friendly and helpful bunch, but you must understand, your story is very unique and there are people in this world who are lonely and bored and spend their time making up elaborate, unique stories and posting them here. You may not have found them in a search b/c our wise moderator has deleted the threads.

Please continue to ask questions and you will continue to get responses.

Oh, and yes, your daughter will by necessity have to find another favorite clothes color. My favorite color is black but I spent my first four months here struggling in the heat.

I apologize, Onika, perhaps I misread the posts as well. I'm really sorry everyone, for whatever I did wrong. I did not mean to offend or to be rude.

I plead guilty on the uniqueness, our family is not your typical suburban bunch, and yet, at the same time we are. We shop at Walmart (no Kmart here), we both work, our kids go to public school, we have the mommy SUV and the daddy 4x4 pickup truck. But our lives are very different from most peoples' in a lot of ways. We try to keep those differeces hidden most of the time. On those rare occasions though, we do turn heads. A few weeks ago, while picking up supplies on their way to an SCA picnic hubby and the kids got some pretty funny looks from the folks in Krogers. ( I didn't get to go, as I had to work ) If I had been a bystander, I would have been staring too. It isn't everyday you see someone buying groceries dressed in chainmail, lol. Our daughter loves the attention, she likes to be different. I prefer to just blend in. Hubby could care less either way.

I was trying to explain to them about the modesty of the locals, if I understood it correctly from the posts I have read. What would be considered acceptable attire for daily errands and such? I imagine that tourists wear a variety of garment combinations. But being that we may be there for an extended period, we don't want to offend anyone. She is concerned that tank tops and shorts would not be modest enough. Any advice? Also, on that same note, hubby has a lot of tattoos that are visible in normal clothing (t-shirt and jeans), and that offends some people here, is it any better or worse down there?

He will find out next month if he has the job or not. If he gets it he will have to be in St.Thomas by Aug. 1st. That doesn't give us much time to plan anything. I am totally confused about the passports. Do we need them or not? Gov. website says you must apply for one and show your receipt, travel agents say you don't need it, just your driver's license. What is the reality of it from people who have made the trip?

Thank you to all for the help,

Kelly

Kelly, your daughter is going to be different enough - not sure chainmail is going to go over very well and may actually target her for comments by the less tolerant. Blending in isn't an option when you are Goth, gypsy, or chainmailed. I think shorts and tanks are fine - I also think a bra and/or cami is necessary. It IS a more modest culture. I guess hubby's tattoos are "normal" and not of snakes eating women or something? I actually found on St. Croix that if I was out and about in a summer dress it seemed I was given a little more respect than if I was grubbing around in scrubs or something.

I guarantee - unless you're in Havensight where the tourists are, if you think you would draw attention stateside, you will surely draw it in the islands, and I don't think it would be respectful attention (with all due respect). Unique is one thing - really different is another - and if you think you can hide aspects of your life, you are most likely incorrect. It's a small island with a coconut telegraph. I would say your life would be much easier if you could persuade your daughter to reel in her "different" side. I'm afraid she is going to have a tough row to hoe, but I could be mistaken. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong, I feel quite sure.

Hi KellyP,

You don't need passports to travel between the US and the USVI. However, I highly recommend you go ahead and get them. You have already experienced the confusion about whether you need them or not. If you have them.....no problem, either way. Also, while you are hear, you may want to travel to other islands, which are not US.

Currently, you don't need a passport to travel to the British Virgin Islands, but a lot of people think you do, so you wind up with a hassle (and very soon you will need it to get back into USVI). If you have the time and inclination to visit other Caribbean islands, you will need the passports. It's the "ultimate ID".

Good luck to hubby on getting the job.

I don't think that it would be any different for your daughter in the VI, possibly worse in terms of acceptance. She would be very far out of the norm re. local culture and a lot of the other 'Continental ' kids would find her quite outrageous too. IMHO, it would not be a positive move for her at this very awkward age and perhaps the money would not be worth it.
Let's put it this way - there is no Hot Topic in the VI and that is a very 'soft' Goth/Emo store.

maybe the Goth thing is the best reason to move to the USVI. It might get it out of her system. My daughter went through a mild phase of that in the 80's.

Kelly,
My husband and I are avid bikers and are moving down and leaving our prescious baby with our son. We have been on STT many time and have seen VERY few bikes. Unfortunately the roads are VERY curvy and dangerous on a bike. We have witnessed two accidents involving bikers and it wasn't pretty. The top speed limit on the island is 35 and that isn't in very many places...mostly 20. There really isn't any OPEN roads and a lot of time on the clutch and brakes will have you buying new ones all the time.
That said, leaving our bike with our son will enable us to fly there, hop on the bike and use that as our vacations now instead of our vacations in STT.
It was a hard decision to make and we are hoping we made the right choice. If not we can always have it shipped later or we thought about selling it and than when we come stateside just renting one while we are here.
Keep your options open.
I have no input on the teen sceen as our children are grown and married with children.
You should have no problem with your families food choices once you explore all the stores and their choices.
Vitimans and supplements are also never a problem....there is always K Mart...No Wal Mart.
Just keep doing your homework as I have and you should have no problem.
Good Luck
Kim

The way people are talking about rust here on the island is bunk. If it were so we would all be driving rust buckets everyday. If you live right on the water, it could be a problem other than that should be okay. There are oodles of Harley's here and the guys enjoy themselves riding around the island. Those with the urge for open roads often fly up to the states and rent one and get it taken care of. I would not discourage anyone form bringing their's. Now don't know much about the reception to chainmail. Many tattoos were difficult for one couple I knew who had to head back to CA.

RL

I do have to wonder how a 14 year old girl who is bi-sexual would fit in with the other kids her age on the island. 14 isn't an optimum age for a girl or boy to already have multiple "relationships" (presumably with some sexual content) under their belt, but that is what has been reported by the girl's mother. That's in addition to being a vegetarian, chain-mail-wearing Goth. Nothing wrong with any of those things, but it seems like this may be a girl who is having serious trouble fitting in with her peers and who is trying everything outrageous she can think of to try to find a place she does fit in or maybe just to get attention and reactions, whether positive or negative.

Teens who move to the islands face challenges in adjusting to the cultural differences and the teen lifestyle here. Some adapt and do well and others go wild and get into all kinds of trouble very quickly. For a teen who is already experimenting with atypical behaviours, the islands seem likely to be a place where bad things could happen.

A 7 year old boy who loves the water will more likely have a great time.

Best of luck, whichever way your job offer goes.

Alexandra, I think your post was rather judgemental and rude regarding the girl's behavior. It is not up to you to rule on whether or not the dating behavior of someone else's child is optimum. By all means express your beliefs, but try and make it sound like your opinion and not fact. Also, it is rather presumptious of you to try and analyze the young girl's motives and behaviors having never met the family. Do you have any counselling credentials?
I have already stated that I think the transition would be difficult for the family, but let's not go above and beyond our capabilities, eh?

Jane - There you go being judgmental and rude.

YES, actually, I do have counseling credentials. A background in psychology is useful in many industries. But apparently you believe only you have the right to express the concept that there could be difficulties in the transition for this family. I disagree that YOU have the right to rule on who is allowed to express such thoughts. I personally can't think of any adult I have ever met who openly suggests that young teens should be sexually active at all, much less have multiple relationships before they even hit high school. Yes, it happens, but it can hardly be described as optimal. Do you perhaps take the position that it would have been great for your daughter to have multiple sexual relationships before she was 14?

By my opening with, "I do have to wonder..." and continuing with "seems like..." clearly showed that any comments following were my opinion and not claimed as fact. I wasn't being judgmental. I was expressing concern. Teens coming to STX have a lot of hurdles to leap. The mother's description of this girl sounds like she'll face more challenges than most.

Actually, the "I do have to wonder" belongs to the opening sentence of your post. The statement re. the "optimum" has no qualifying rider. I note that you do not address your presumptions of the motives, reasons, background et al behind the girl's actions. Even if you place a "get out" clause before, behind, under etc that part of your post, it was still rank supposition by a non expert without any contact with the girl whatsoever.
If you do have counselling credentials, then you really should know better than to attempt to diagnose on third person heresay/anecdotal evidence.

Hi all,

Let me preface this post by stating I am not an expert in anything and don't claim to have any answers that any reasonably intelligent adult can"t find or figure out on their own.

I don't think there was anything wrong with Alexandra's post regarding Kelly's 14 year old daughter. Kelly originally posted because she was concerned about her family's lifestyle choices and adjusting to the VI. People have expressed their opinions.

Teenagers, since time out of mind, have done things which some adults consider outrageous, rebellious or just plain attention getting! That is not new and doesn't require special training to recognize. Not knowing the young lady is not the issue. Kelly knows her daughter, and can take what she wants from the post.

We all express opinions on this board everyday about a hugh variety of topics. Some are definitive answers, which are wrong. Some are declared as opinion, but are based on mis-information or personal preference. For the most part, the answers and opinions offered are with the best of intentions.

Basically, I feel like if you post a question, (particularly such a broad spectrum question as Kelly's, which can only be answered by opinion), you are sticking your neck out there, asking people you don't know to offer advise and opinions. And you will get it! So, weed through it all ,and decide for yourself what is helpful in your individual situation.

All the best.

14 yr old chain-mail wearing bisexuals on Harleys? OMG.
I'm with Onika and Teresa in their disbelief. 😉

It could only get better if a flame war broke out... er. Too late.

P.S. What's everyone's stance on Chain Mail in the V.I.? Rust or No Rust?
Need to know.