Average Week

"I'm trying to figure out what life will be like on the VI. On the one hand, I am an envisioning the stereotypical paradise."

If you have money and self-control, or if you have no money and the right attitude, then it's paradise. The weather is almost always perfect.

"On the other hand, I am reading some blogs making it out to be a treacherous ghetto."

It is treacherous for some. Drugs and rum are cheap. It's a great place to be a screw-up.

"I would imagine it is somewhere in between?"

Bingo!

"If someone could walk me through their typical week I would really appreciate it. For instance, do people typically go diving, fishing every, water sports every week?"

Some do, but most people are just making ends meet. It's expensive here. I would say that beaches, bars and restaurants are the most common form of entertainment.

"I know this is a silly question, but assuming if I am friendly and what not will I have a difficult time making friends?"

If you are friendly, then you can make friends very easily here. The opposite is also true.

Good advice above.

When I lived there, there were weeks when I didn't go to the beach at all, even though I lived on the beach. (I tried to make a point of going to the beach at least every few days, even if it was just to play fetch with my dog for a few minutes, but some days are just too busy.) I was happy just to look at it while eating my breakfast or whatever. And then there were weeks when I went to several beaches, went diving a couple of times, etc. It just depends on how busy the rest of your life is. I also found that I tended to do more "island" stuff when I had visitors from the mainland. It's not that I didn't enjoy that stuff, or that I took it for granted. It's just that the island really does become larger the longer you live there, and after a while, driving all the way out to Jack and Isaac's bays just seems like a really long trip even though it's a gorgeous place. (I compare it to living in Arizona now. As much as I love the Grand Canyon, I don't go there every weekend. It's also 4 hours away, but that's a quick drive by Southwest standards, just like 45 minutes is a long drive by VI standards.) I do know people who have incorporated beach/water stuff into their daily life. For example, I know one guy who goes out and dives for lobster just about every evening after work. It's just part of his routine.

People sometimes forget that they'll still have to do all of the usual "life" stuff (work unless you're retired, grocery shopping, post office, bank, etc.), and in general, those things tend to take longer in the VI than they do on the mainland. For example, it is not common to have home mail delivery, so checking the mail means driving to the post office and waiting in line. So unless you'll be working a lot less in the VI, you can probably count on having less free time. However, many people find that the time they spend running errands, etc. is more enjoyable because of the slower pace. Back to the post office... I didn't mind going there because they knew me by name, had a conversation with me, etc. And I usually ran into someone I knew in line, since it's sort of a community meeting place -- everyone has to check their mail. I still miss seeing Mario and hearing his big "GOOD MORNING!" and his great sense of humor at the Sunny Isle post office.

I found it as easy to make friends there as I did anywhere else. However, I did find that it was easier to make friends with others from the mainland than it was to make friends with locals. I found it to be true what people say about locals being skeptical about whether newcomers really will stay long enough to make it worth the effort to start a friendship. In my case, I did end up leaving (due to work, not because I didn't love the island), but thanks to technology, the world is becoming a smaller place, so I still text my friends there, and I go back every few months to visit. I think it's fun to have friends in different parts of the country/world, but it seems to be true that some people can't be bothered if there's a chance you'll move away after they've "wasted" time getting to know you.

Roadrunner has given a good summary of "routine life" in the islands. For some the "slower pace" becomes very frustrating - it takes forever to simple banking and tasks like going to the P.O. for mail get's a bit old and time consuming. If you need repairs around the house or are expecting a contractor or delivery person you can end up waiting, Waiting, WAITING AND WAITING SOME MORE only to find out no one actually shows up TODAY but maybe it will be tomorrow or the next day or even next week - there's that slow island pace everyone dreams about - the thing is nobody will call to tell you they can't make it at the appointed time.

In some areas you have to deal with power outages, internet outages, cable TV outages, etc. - these things are a fact of life.

It seems like something is always "going wrong". I tell friends that I consider it a victory when I get a week where I don't have tone of those outages or I have to "fix" something.

Sleep, normal household chores and work (if you are not retired or a trust fund baby) are no different than anywhere - they will take up the bulk of your time leaving you very little for fishing, diving or watersports. At best you'll have as much "free" time to do those things as you do where you currently live. At worst you'll have less time because you'll be working extra jobs to "pay the bills".

I spend three or four days a week doing the boring stuff -- errands, laundry, housework. I work four, sometimes five, nights a week as a server. Recently, I picked up one or two lunch shifts as a favor to a friend who is a manager at a different restaurant. One day off is always reserved for something really, really fun, like going to STJ and doing some hiking and snorkeling there. Or staying on this island and doing the same kind of thing. Once a week, too, when I am off during the day, but work at night, I like to walk the five minutes down the hill from where I live to the beach and either have a good hour soak or a nice snorkel in the early afternoon. I have many, many acquaintances. Some days, it seems like I can't even leave my house without hugging and kissing 15 people! I sound like I am complaining about that, but I actually kind of like that! Really close friends are hard to find. A lot of people are transient, so sometimes you get really close to someone, then they leave in six months. Most of those come back, some don't though. STT is pretty small, so it's hard to not get know a lot of people. I do have quite a few friends, just none that are really close. Perhaps it's just the kind of people that I know, too, but everyone I know has a set day that they go and do whatever thing they think is the most fun. A lot of the fun things revolve around the beach or boating. I know one couple who really aren't much into that, but go golfing every Sunday, no matter what. A few people I know like to go horseback riding, as well.

Not being a surfer, I can't really tell you how or even if the surfing is different on different islands, but I can tell you that there are more surfing spots than just Hull Bay, though that is a well-known spot. I've seen surfers at Botany Bay as well as Caret Bay, but both of those locations are harder to find. Last fall, we took a mini vacation to Tortola and stayed at Sebastian's and saw surfers there every morning.

I think I live pretty close to the same as I did in the states. I came from Florida, so water sports are nothing new to me. Saying that, I didn't get to check the snorkeling conditions at my favorite beach just by walking to the edge of my driveway, but I did laundry and errands and housework and the work that pays money every week. And I always made one day a day of nothing but fun, just that fun was a pontoon boat to Crab Island, not the car ferry to STJ! And, of course, the winter here is MUCH milder than Destin's winters were.

As far as making friends of locals is concerned, it's less to do with any feeling of "wasting time investing" in newcomers but all to do with slowly forging a friendship versus an "acquaintanceship" and then, very painfully, seeing those people leave when you've always sort of assumed that, like you, they'll be here for years if not forever. Sure, many friends and acquaintances do stay in touch but the majority slowly gets involved in their "new" or "returned to" stateside life and the communication dwindles down. Just a part of life and this very transient society but I just wanted to put a different angle on it than that which has been presented.

So the solution is never to become friendly with anyone? Or only to make friends with those who have been there longer than you? Even then, there's no guarantee. People move away all the time, whether from an island or from a city in the states, sometimes against their will (due to employment, family, etc.). I've had plenty of friends move away from the place where I met them, and that hasn't made me want to avoid getting close to people. People don't live in the town where they grew up and work for the same company for 50 years anymore. But we do have cell phones and planes.

Thanks so far all the information has been very helpful. In regards to crime, I have a couple of specific questions. Just to give you a little perspective I live in DC in an area that some people would say is a little sketchy, while others (like me) would say it is completely fine. Would I be able to jog at night in the VI? Are there some areas of the VI that I would want to avoid regardless of the time? On the flip side are there other areas that are "mostly" fine at all hours? Can I walk home from the bar w/o a worry, is that even something that is typically done? Also what are the bad areas like? I understand that it is not an urban population so I am assuming it is not just a stretch of a couple of blocks so would it be more of an "area" so to speak? Thanks for all your help! I am aware that the answers will likely tend to differ based on whether you are talking about STT or STX sorry I am not being specific in that matter.

So the solution is never to become friendly with anyone? Or only to make friends with those who have been there longer than you? Even then, there's no guarantee. People move away all the time, whether from an island or from a city in the states, sometimes against their will (due to employment, family, etc.). I've had plenty of friends move away from the place where I met them, and that hasn't made me want to avoid getting close to people. People don't live in the town where they grew up and work for the same company for 50 years anymore. But we do have cell phones and planes.

Not at all and that wasn't my point which I felt while writing wasn't going to translate very well at all. What I was really commenting on was the generalities you used when describing making friends in terms of a perception of "wasted time" and "not worth the effort". Then again it's more than likely that our respective definition of "friendship" is disparate. I've always found it to be true that if you can count your friends on the fingers of one hand then you're a lucky man. But acquaintances are legion and if you can only count those on the fingers of one hand then you're missing out!

I think one of the most exciting aspects of living here is the opportunity to meet, mix and mingle with people from hugely diverse countries and cultures. The island has always been a vast melting pot and although you find the cultural mix in most big cities, the chance of interacting with the mix here is far greater than in the seething metropolis where people tend to stay in their own little comfort zone.

I think until you live here it's hard to explain how a million dollar mansion can sit in close proximity to a simple block and galvanize home and why the question, "what's the best area to live" is so difficult to answer!

jcp: This was posted before your questions but maybe the last sentence helps answer them? 😀

Would I be able to jog at night in the VI? -
It depends on the area. The main roads are often twisted and narrow and not well lit so jogging along the main road could prove to be a bit dangerous - not because you are exposed to crime but rather from passing cars that might not 'see you" in the dark. Side roads are less travel but again not always well lit. They can be hilly, too so if you like that kind of challenge you might be right at home.

Are there some areas of the VI that I would want to avoid regardless of the time?
Like DC there are some areas on all of the islands you should avoid.

On the flip side are there other areas that are "mostly" fine at all hours?
Yes!

Can I walk home from the bar w/o a worry, is that even something that is typically done?
Again, the answer is "it depends" where do you live, where the bar is located and where both of those places are in relation to each other as well as what time of day/night you are walking. Also, one has to take into count your "physical condition" at the time you are walking home from the bar. You have to use common sense (that may be hard for some people to do when they've had too much to drink).

Also what are the bad areas like?
It's not only hard to answer that question but almost impossible. "Bad areas" are probably not all that different from the bad areas in and around DC. The thing is, there's no stereotypical "bad area" that one can define. A "bad area" is where "bad people" are hanging out - it could be in front of one or two houses in an otherwise nice neighborhood or in a dark alley way in an industrial area or in a deserted section of town that during the day is perfectly safe. Now, just because there are people hanging around doesn't necessarily make that place a "bad area. Nor does the quality of the homes/buildings in the area mean a particular neighborhood is good or bad. It's like I said, a bad area is where the "bad people" are hanging out. You have to use your own judgement and common sense to differentiate between the good and bad areas

I understand that it is not an urban population so I am assuming it is not just a stretch of a couple of blocks so would it be more of an "area" so to speak?
Your assumption is incorrect (see above).

The answers to your questions will become apparent once you are actually here. That's why the one recurring theme you'll find on the forum is the advice that ANYONE contemplating a move to the islands should make a Pre-Move Visit (aka PMV). It's really the only way you'll be able to fully understand what life is like in the islands.

I have been looking into relocating to STT or STJ. I have found this forum to be extremely helpful! We have been planning a PMV because it seems like no matter how much research we do, and how many posts we read, the best thing to do would be to go down there ourselves and check things out. So, with that being said ( and this may be a silly question) but, what do you feel would be a good amount of time to spend for a PMV? We were thinking around 10days? Hopefully that would give us enough time to explore both islands and mingle with locals and get their feelings on island life.
Also we were looking into possibly buying a little business in the wharfside shopping center on STJ. Can you tell me what that area is like? Does it see a lot of high traffic from locals or it is mostly tourists? Any advice you can give will be much appreciated. 🙂 Thank you.

Ten days is really a minimum, three weeks is better, and you should stay in a simple place and NOT a resort. As far as buying a business is concerned, this should be something contemplated WAY in the future. The best advice is to live here for at least a year and work for someone else in a related field before you even think of going into business for yourself. Good luck.

I agree with Old Tart - the longer you can stay for your PMV the better it will be for you discover the many facets about life in the islands that are more easily understood if you see/experience them first hand rather than reading about them.

And, yes, don't even think about "searching out a business" during a brief 10 day PMV - save that task until you've been living here for at least a year, maybe longer. Also, when the time comes be careful about buying an existing business - most are way over priced and you'll be paying a lot for "goodwill" that doesn't really exist or have any intrinsic value. Ask yourself, if the business is so good why is the current owner selling????

Jackimarie, welcome to the forum!

I think the length of the PMV depends on how many times you've been here before, and how much you need to get done. My PMV to STX was just 3 days because we'd already been here once, we already had a job and housing lined up as caretakers for a vacation rental villa, we'd done some research, and our minds were pretty much made up that we were going to move here. I spent the time driving around to get the lay of the land, window-shopping at stores to see the prices and selection, chatting with random residents, and meeting with my future neighbors.

In your case, it sounds like you have a lot to do, so a PMV of 10 days or (preferably) more sounds right, especially with 2 islands.

I agree with the above -- the longer the better if you haven't been to the VI before, and make sure you don't stay at a fancy hotel, but try to live the way you do on a normal day. (On the other hand, it's okay to spend part of your time just being a tourist! You're going to have free time after you move anyway, and you need to make sure that you'll be able to have fun!)

Also, if/when you do move, you might consider doing whatever you can to make it easier to potentially return to the states if you decide that you need or want to. In my case, I was planning on living on STX indefinitely, but I knew that many, many people have said that before and ended up moving back, so I kept my house in the states. If you can at least put some of your furniture, etc. in storage and set aside enough money for a return plane ticket, that might make your life easier in the future. No one wants to think that they won't "make it," but the reality is that many don't.

Thanks so much for all your comments and posts! They have been very helpful. What area would you recommend we stay for our PMV? We for sure don't want to stay in a resort area but don't know the island of STT to be able to pick out the right area. Is there certain areas that are better then others that will give us a better view of the everyday life there? Thanks again for all your info.

When you get here you'll understand why "areas" mean nothing at all. I'd suggest a B&B as a PMV location and you might take a look at Crystal Palace which is above town ( http://www.crystalpalaceusvi.com/). Ron, the genial host, has helped many newcomers find their island legs over the years and will steer you well. One thing you will need is a rental car as without one you'll never get around!