A question about moving

The first question is "how many do you think move back after only a short time?" I think the answer is a good percentage. Your second question is "Do you know a lot of people who have just moved from the states who are not adapting well to the island life?" The answer, in my case, is no. I know a few, but not a lot.

I think that of the people who arrive with expectations that are reasonably close to reality, and who choose to move here with that information, the attrition rate is not so high. You can control your expectations by (a) do considerable homework (i.e., do what you're doing by participating on this board and others like it), (b) pay attention to all the stories you hear, and then do a good job of separating the wheat from the chaff, AND (c) take a serious visit to not be a tourist but check out the living situation before moving. It's a matter of making a well-informed decision.

Remember, though, that leaving does not always mean someone is not adapting well. There are lots of different reasons people move here. Some plan from the outset to only be here for a short time; they love it but they move on as planned. (Some in this category end up staying their whole lives, too). Some love it here but have a change in their life that makes them prefer to move back, like having a child or needing to be close to an aging relative. Some transfer here with their jobs and then get transferred away. Many adapt well, but their spouse does not.

Others may think differently. This is just my take. Hope this helps.

I have been here three years and have seen a LOT of people come and go. As said on the other post they leave for many reasons. People don't adapt well when they like to shop, like to have conveniences at their fingertips - (you can't order a pizza here and have it delivered to your home, not many people get mail delivery to their homes, etc., etc.), don't like bugs, don't appreciate hot weather. I could go on.

The suggestion to do your research is a good one and also to remember that if you are not happy where you are you will bring that with you.

Hello,

I have to agree with what has been said. And Ms. Chuy's comment about being well informed is a biggy on my list as well... do your homework, research, ask all the question you can think of even if they seem strange or silly, if you find some things you do every day in your day to day life back home ask if that will change, maybe you are addicted to a special slurpy and you just assume we must have it too... we more then likely don't but the Dairies sure has some great milk shakes... have a realistic idea of what to expect, be open to trying new things and to appreciating what is available here.

As for moving back after a short time... yes I would say the number is high - primarily because many intended only to be here for 1 year or 6 months to experience things. Some come for season... People come and go for different reasons; you asked of the people we know. Well... I have encountered quite a few.

One couple had the intention to come for 2 years and leave they stayed for 3 and enjoyed it. But they want to go back home to where they are originally from and that was the plan and they are going. Another couple, the wife originally disliked it primarily because she had left her family behind... she grew to love it... but the couple had a child and felt that they would have better chances of getting a home and settled in that way if they lived in the states so the husband got a job transfer... A single mother I know who was from the states originally but moved to the St. Thomas from a young age to live with a relative... lived, worked, married/divorced had children here, and decided one day that she would have more oppurtunities in the states, she had a yard sale, packed up her kids and herself and left... (she planned it out, she wanted to go to school, have a home... things she found were too difficult to achieve here... the major she wanted wasn't offered here... she is doing very well in NC but says she would move back home if she could get the same job pay and maybe she will when her kids are grown)... another couple moved down... the girlfriend hated it, the couple broke up she and the dog went back home and boyfriend stayed; he enjoys it and has been here for about 4 years, another couple came and loved it but the wife got sick and felt healthcare would be better back home so after a year they left; one couple I knew lived here moved to the states for better opurtunities but had a child and moved back here because they felt it was safer and friendlier environment to raise a child here and also be close to their family; one young guy I knew moved here for this reason " to end a writers block, because its paradise..." well it didn't pan out, he said the people were rude, didn't really go to the beach or anything like that and his favorite sport was golf and he said the course here wasn't good enough and he didn't like the music or culture... he left without even resigning from his part time job..." , another guy was here for about 5 months said he couldn't find any good women, he only wanted to date a 7th day adventist and she had to be white... well his options were quite limited if there are any at all, he did say he would settle on a Catholic but that didn't work out either as I understand; some folks I knew left after hurricanes - they were young did not have any property of anything and were not interested in dealing with the clean up in a place they had no ties, some folks had property and sold it and left; one couple have lived here for well over 14 years and loved it from the get go, had kids, 2 houses, great careers, active in the community... later still loving it - they go home often to visit and its home now; one couple lived here for about 10 years but decided that they wanted to sail for a couple years while the kids were small and then go back to Denmark were the wife was from so that their daughters could grow up there, one couple they were both doctors, bought a business, lived here for about 2 months - wife hated it, husband liked it but they sold everything and went back home - found out later that she was pregnant and wanted to be close to family.... I could keep going but I think you will note that people come and go for different reasons... you specified those not adapting well to island life... I would have to say that often these are younger people and often its that they only intended to be here for a short time or they just can't deal with the irritations of island life (note another post about this same topic)... perhaps older couples research it more and don't have the mobility to just say hey its not cutting it I am out of here... so learn from that and do your research, homework and be well informed to make the move, it ultimately depends on you.

All the best...

Islander: My favorite was a lady who was hired, flew in on a Friday afternoon- never even met any co-workers- left on Sunday! I have no idea what it was! I also know a guy who came on vacation from NY- had never been to the Caribbean. At the end of his week, he called home to have them send his clothes. And that was 20+ years ago. I also know young professionals who came here for a year or so to have fun and have been here 5 years and are looking to buy a house.

The thing about expectations is important. IMHO "older" newcomers have a better grip on what they expect and what they want out of a life here. A girlfriend told me that women seem to be moving TO something new, different here and men seem to be running AWAY from things. Don't know how PC or accurate that is, but in some ways....

Thank you all so much for the input. It's not that I don't think I will adapt well to living on St. Thomas for a year, it's just that people here are so negative about it. Sometimes people attitudes can rub off on you. I can't wait to experience all the ups and downs of island life and I will see you all at the Chili Cook-off in September!
Roxy

Roxy: I am sorry if I come off appearing negative. Most folks who want to move here have a concept of Paradise that would be hard to live up to in Heaven! I am trying to say, yes, it is wonderful in some ways, but DIFFERENT than anything you have experienced before in other ways! Be prepared! See you at Bolongo for the Chili Cook Off . Are you cooking?

Roxy,

Do you mean that you think we were being negative in terms of our answers or do you mean people back home around you are giving you a hard time about moving so thats the negativity??? If its us - I am sorry as well didn't mean to sound that way - was just giving various examples of folks that I knew that were "new" residents that stayed and/or left.

All the best with your move - and do keep us posted once you arrive on how everything is going, your comments will help other folks who are thinking about moving!! The Cook Off is lots of fun.

--Islander